Judge, 1904-09-17 · page 4 of 16
Judge — September 17, 1904 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humorous sketches and poems typical of early 20th-century American satirical journalism. The content includes: **"A Happy Philosopher"** — A poem celebrating the simple pleasures of looking through window panes, with accompanying whimsical illustrations of people engaged in everyday activities. **Other titled pieces** like "Judge's Favorites," "Their Mistake," "Orphaned," "Heartless," "Good Enough," "Has To," and "The Kind" appear to be brief satirical observations about contemporary social behavior and human nature—critiquing vanity, pretension, and hypocrisy through short anecdotes and witty commentary. **"Kissing-Bugs"** references a specific period concern (early 1900s pest panic). The page's humor targets universal human foibles rather than specific political figures or events, making it representative of Judge's general satirical approach to American society.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE'S FAVORITES. Louise everts. The season now is opened wide, and all is in full blast, And you're the peach of this and that and every other cast; And while you are a peach, although the fact may seem absurd, You likewise are a daisy full of beauty, and a bird, And this explains the reason that the public in you pul Until the house from gallery to orchestra {s full. ‘THEIR MISTAKE. HE princes in the tower saw their mistake when too late. “We should have been kings in a full house!" they exclaimed. Fearing they would go into the discard, they trembled for their fate. ORPHANED, AVE you heard of the nice motor-car Which papa one time gave to mamma? They went out alone On a ride of their own. Do you ask if we're orphans? We are! 1G panes and little Brathay tong I carry on my deltoid Muscles with a song. Big sash and little sash ‘Are the same to me— In the shining pane goes, One, twor three. Out through the little pane You'll see as much light As through the big pane At morn, noon, or night. ‘As much is seen through one pane As where twenty shine ; Then why should twenty in a sash Glimmer line on line? It isn't all for ornament That twenty fill a sash. ‘Tis into my old pocket To put a wad of cash, ‘That my little children ‘That is why I travel May be shod and clad, ‘And Glass put in!” cry. While wreaths of fragrant hash-steam Truly that’s the reason Make the table glad. Why, why, why. HEARTLESS. Dat lady acrost de street 's de meanest ever.” “How's dat?” “Wry, [tells her me an’ me dog is starvin’, an’ she hands out a Lunch uv dog-biscuits.” GOOD ENOUGH. LEANDER was swim- ing the Hellespont. “Huh !" he gurgled. “I'm a good - enough swimmer to run on the Democratic ticket.” But Hero, waiting on the other bank, dis- suaded him. HAS TO. + THEY say she spends twice as much money as any other woman for complexion- powder.” “ Of course she does. She is two-faced.” THE KIND. First little girl— “My doll talks when you squeeze it. Does yours 2" Risse suas” «ag Seton little girt— He—"* Let us sit out on the lawn and watch for shooting-stars.” No; mine's just a Par- ‘Sut—"' Oh, somebody might see us! Let's sit inside the grape-arbor and watch for lightning-bugs."" ker doll.” comicbooks.com