Judge — September 17, 1904 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY Aq Tax Panxer Boripixc. FourTn AVENUE axp Nixereextn StReET, New YORE. Westexx Apvnerisine Orrice— 1313 Hartford Building, Chicago, lle TERMS TO SUESCRID UNITED STATES AND CANADA In ADVANCE. One copy, one year. or $2 numbers - . - * eT et eee achading ibe Cirmarraeks FOREIGN SUPSCRIPTIONS—To ail foreign countries in the postal union, $5.00 8 year. Evrornan satns-acenrs—Iaternational News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, F.C, London: Brentane's, Avenue de t' Opera, Paris: Saarbach's News Exchange, Sainz, Germany. The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this conyright will be prompily and digorousiy prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inclose a stamped and self-addressed ertvelove with all manaiscriots, othePivise return of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and address Wwritten plainly on each and every sevarale sketch. The accompanying Jose or descrictive letter-press should in every instance be written upon its indroidaal picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. Liciosure of stamps to the fall amount of postage 18 also required, 10 insure safe and promot return of material not accented. NO.MATTER what may be said, sung, or whistled to the contrary, the have a better chance of winning, would be peculiarly appropriate. Another Democratic party is all dinner-bell and no dinner-pail. might be a statuette of the Democratic donkey, in the midst of defeat and ae: | its attendant humiliation, lifting his voice in lamentation, and at the same . ra: time giving an imitation of Bryan in the act of dappling the atmosphere NOW Ai semariss tanare nehy with the jewels of his wit, Evidently the limit has not been reached by Of polities for aye, the which the Jersey City undertaker who scatters pink trading-stamps on his pas Those people gravely doubt trons. And, come to think of it, in connection with the above-mentioned ‘Wine. ucs Nich ctor to foctae’s alches fact, is it at all wonderful or inappropriate that the managers of a party A peanut sue about to be buried should give out its trading-stamps with a view to increas: ih belghtest palit ing its monetary gains?” The Hill-Gorman-Belmont skindicate trading- ‘And never up tie spout, stamp seems to be the political grand-stand play that is the thing which will be forgotten on and by election day The spout they dream was never made eee For dear old Uncle Dave NDERHILL PARKER is a swimmer or nothing, and it may be said To flourish round about and fade, that he is swimming, not running, for the presidency. His fondness As on the purling wave for tire water is sufficient to cause him to be regarded as an amphibious The lily fades when in the glade, candidate. He is the political Leander of his time swimming toward the On any day Hero of Democracy. He will discover that the political Hellespont is not That’s blue and gray, ily crossed, and that there are eddies and whirlpools that baffle the skill The autumn whirlwinds rave. of the strongest natatorial experts. In this Hellespont of graft and free silver Underhill Parker will contend with a force which will rattle his judi- cial head and cause him to marvel, and in vain, at the nature and the secret meaning of the stream against which he tussles while flying around upon the sizzling bosom of any of its whirlpools like a roulette-ball in profes- __ Whe the tr , sional action, With the dead weight of Hill about his neck, we should For in its pocket, made for biz, think that he would feel more at ease if he had but taken the precaution to His getting out fortify his life with a marine-insurance policy before plunging in for the Will be, all shout, presidential pearl. Underhill Parker will find that as a dead weight old Better than red, red gold. Uncle David is in his glory and at his best, and that his mission is to pull soe down and under, and not to build up. He is a vicious proposition, and an F UNDERHILL PARKER'S reputation for bathing’ continues to in- egg is not half so full of meat as he is full of mischief. And yet he is a crease as it has increased source of amusement and during the past month, it i merriment, and ever, as will puzzle the political } z ‘ such, must remind the doctors to understand why pe MG 7 ; man of imagination of the he should thus pursue a Q e . late Artemus Ward’s kan- plan to win Republican > } R z garoo. He performs his votes which would be = quaint antics, and is, while sure to cost him a great- “ AWN ‘ A so doing, a living circus- er number of Democratic ’ yi se a ring of howling delight. ballots. He has a way of saying =} Z one thing and meaning HE DEMOCRATIC another; and when one TRADING-STAMP ‘ 7 A learns the quaint art of is about the sort of thing . b 5. grasping his actual mean- that might take root in the ., \ oe a ing one will find that it minds of such progressive i i . Me does not always stand on political dreamers of . j a foundation of truth. dreams and schemers of F; _N With such a dead weight schemes as Gorman, Bry- (yall WS about his neck, we should an, and others. We do f M think the Esopus farmer not know just what sort would either clamor for a of premiums these pre- Ty political life-preserver, or ferred jugglers of men and 4 Zs so reduce the scale of his things would be inclined : operations as to be able to to offer as an inducement produce the fine theatrical to their followers to gather = effects in an ordinary bath- unto themselves a certain tub that he now produces number of these skindicate ( in the whirlpool which en- stamps. Having thought compasses him about, and the matter over, we should in which he flies around think that a statuette in with all the swiftness, . FINANCE. a bronze of old Uncle David Ixey—"' Vill you dake mein vord fer segurity fer a loan ohf ten dollars ad two per. cendt?"* though not with the ac- bidding a tearful farewell Para Govosteu-** Wat do you vant tor dolass toro customed grace, of the to his party, that it might Ixey—** So I can lend id to Able Solomon ad eighdt per cendt."” squirrel in his cage-wheel. And yet the spout is surely his To have and eke to hold. His party soon with joy will whizz If he the truth has tol comicbooks.com