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Judge, 1904-09-17 · page 10 of 16

Judge — September 17, 1904 — page 10: what you’re looking at

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Judge — September 17, 1904 — page 10: Judge, 1904-09-17

What you’re looking at

This page contains several satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **"A Far Greater Crime"** depicts a sheriff and Tremaine Tenderfoot discussing a missed target—likely poking fun at Wild West incompetence or law enforcement failures. **"Nipped in the Bud"** is a romantic comic about a bachelor whose affection cooled after learning his girlfriend's red hair wasn't natural—satirizing vanity and false appearances in courtship. **"In the Future with Sir Thomas"** is the main piece, mocking Sir Thomas Lipton's repeated failed attempts to win the America's Cup yacht race. The satire imagines absurdly futuristic "air-ships" replacing sailboats, with increasingly ridiculous design failures, poking fun at Lipton's persistent optimism despite decades of losses. It references his actual yacht *Shamrock*. **Minor pieces** include racial dialect humor ("'Rastus"), marriage jokes, and wordplay typical of the era's Judge content. The overall tone is lighthearted mockery of contemporary figures and social foibles rather than serious political commentary.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A FAR GREATER CRIM ‘Suerirr—" Did you miss him?” Tremainc TenpeRroot—"* | did.” Snerirr—" It is." NIPPED IN THE BUD. BACHELOR-BUTTOD But cold his affection has grown. Her small brother told ‘The maiden’s hair wasn't her own ‘once loved a red rose, IN THE FUTURE WITH SIR THOMAS. Very special, LONDON, England, October sth, 1949.—Sir Thomas Lipton, contrary to reports, has not abandoned his intention of lifting the America’s cup. Although his latest air-ship, Shamrock XXXIL, proved a big disappointment to him, he is not in the least discouraged, and his talk is as optimistic ever. Though I have tried for the cup thirty-two times,” he s: id, “and failed each time to lift it, Iam just as confident of ultimate success as I was away back in the last century, when the races were s water, My next challenger, Shamrock new ideas in ad make her an led in the IIL, will embody all the al construction, which with any sort of weather should sy winner, The faults in her predecessors have recognized and avoided, and there'll be no repetition of last y when the challenger lost by 2: Scotland-light air-ship.” een ar's fiasco, 06, corrected time, in the beat around Sir Thomas has already awarded the contract for his new boat. It will be construct- ed at the Clyde air-ship yards by the great-grandson of the original designer, Watson. When launched in the atmos- phere, the customary balloon of champagne having first been broken over her port wing, she will proceed at once to Amer- ica with top-tanks housed and be broken in gradually to the fluky winds and air-currents above Sandy hook. It was her skipper’s unfamiliarity with the Sandy-hook course which caused Shamrock XXXII. to be stuck on a cloud-bank dur- ing one of last year's contests and carried as far from the finish-kite as Pompton plains, New Jersey. Sir Thomas is determined that nothing like this shall happen again. Sir Thomas, it is said, will also insist that the excursion fleet this year be kept within iG tenderroor—"* Er—ah—is it a hanging matter to—to shoot ata man?" hounds. In last season's races the air-ships t:at followed the contestants crowded in so far that scientific sailing was im- and when the side- reat Republican bore down on the Shamrock from aloft she punctured the chal- lenger's foretop-tank-stay-tank and necessitated a postpone- ment for the day. Sir Thomas will accom- pany his yacht year in his palatial electric air possi wheeler usual this turbine Erin, waay wasicros. NOT PREMEDITATED. Justice of peace—* What do you mean by it was not premeditated, ‘Rastus? You acknowledge that you broke into the: plaintiff's hard. ware store and stole a bunch of keys.” “‘Rastus — suh ; Yassuh, yas- put dat wuzn't mah fault, jedge. Mistah Smiff done put locks on his chicken-coop dat none ob mah keys would fit, an’ dere wuzn't no udder w y ter git in widout his heahin’ me ‘ceptin’ by borrerin’ dem keys, Yassuh; de trut.” DEFINED. Knicker— Is your wife one of fashion’s butterflies 2” Bocker—" No. From the way she gets through the clothes she must be a moth.” Dy @ a Ve h IN RE FINE BIRDS. th Tito ly, “are you content to sigh and ery? ferred that you're ‘a bird’—an owl's the title folk. fanny And surely you must take delight Deing thought so wondrous brigh Said she. “Woe 's me! With cowl and Td rather be a parrot on a mang wv] the wisest owl is such a very ugly When lady-birds would | ls ‘They find that feathers outweigh bra PANDORA had just opened the casket.“ Now,” she is off.” . the lid ‘This is the origin of the expression, Devery to the contrary not- withstanding. THE LATEST. If we must eat the unasthetic corn on the ear, why not use our patent corn-holder, attachable to any size head and easily turned. comicbooks.com TO 4 Dear lit Icannot Ten of j May ne Callositi The fre squ O tende I pray y Of sanc nos 1 would 1 might Encomy Drive: its a geotura Persot of eal strikir d the p is“ p; rijtuig han Zea crac nate