Judge — September 10, 1904 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ar Tue Pangxx Rorepixc INETEENTH STREET, Nxw Yous. Westen Anvawrisine Orrice— 1343 Hartford Building, Chicage, ll. TERMS TO SUBS. RS: UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE Ove copy, one year. of ¢2 numbers - $5.00 (One cops, six months, or 26 aumbers - ee LR (One copy, hor thirteen wee 1s FOREIGN SUPSCRIPTIONS—To Fomorean sates-acnnrs—/ntermational News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, EC ountries in the postal union, $5.00 a year. London 1, tewnne del’ Opera, The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. infringement of this conyright wll be promptly and digorously prosecuted, CONTRIBUTORS must inctose a stamped and self-addressed entrelove with all manuscriots, otherwise return of the Latter when found unavailatie cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Devartment should harve the s. descrivtive letter-press should in ébery instance be written uzon its individual picture, 4 NO} name and adress Ywritten on each and every senarate sketch. The accompanying Joke or ona separate slip of paren. 1 osure of stamps to the fall amount of postage is also requiredy 10 insure safe and promot return of material not accented. N THE BRIGHT lexicon of experience, the gold Democrat of to-day is very apt to be a gold-plated proposition, and consequently a gold-brick. THE DEMOCRATS may seek comfort and consolation for their con- sciences in the not too pleasant reflection that they will never have an opportunity to fracture any of the bundle of promises made at St. Louis. LTHOUGH PEANUTS are the chief factor in a liquid that passes among the unsuspecting for olive oil, it cannot be said with equal truth that any kind of a sound political issue can be made of the peanut political methods of such a peanut politician and political peanut as is old Uncle David, the Parker tamer. = NDERHILL PARKER is evidently not over-pleased concerning the Sun and its criticisms on himself and the platform of Hillism, Gor- manism, Belmontism, and an- ti-Americanism upon which he stands. His spirits are ruffled and his temper is per- turbed, and he is squaring off for business, full of fight, while his fiery eyes and gnashing teeth glimmer in the vagrant zephyr. The late nigan must have had such a vision of red-hot wrath in action when he wrote, When once the tiger has tasted blood And found that it is sweet, He has a habit of killing more Than he can possibly eat. Underhill Parker has not been put into a seventh heaven of joy by the expressions of the Sun; but the Sun has filled him with a long string of solid lithiated facts that have cast his rheumatism to the four winds and made him a kicking dancer of the class. And that is why he is dancing mad and madly dancing at a rate which, if directed against the -potato- bugs on the old Esopus farm, would soon put them out of ission, Underhill Par- the Sun's reputa- tion for hitting the nail on the head, and for dealing out large slabs of refrigerated truth that often refuse to assimilate with acandidate’s opinions on the very important subject of himself. And so Underhill Parker is red in the face to the point of lobsteresqueness. All of which makes it im- possible for him to nest with himself, and with his political future, with any degree of solid comfort. Take him all in all, he is certainly a Terp-, sichorean peach. AT THE SHORE. But does she know him well enough to marry him?"* Bareara—"' Oh, yes. She looked up his name and address on the hotel-register. * THE BI.ACK HAND of Democracy black as it is—and who will say that it is not blacker than black?—is many times blacker than it is painted. It is so black that a black cat would shine as a white dove against it. And its blackness is not the kind which, so to speak, yields and crum- bles before the persuasive eloquence of si And that is, perhaps, a good reason for its remaining what it is—the hand of the party which, out of respect for consistency and tradition, still frowns upon water and flatly re- fuses to have either internal or external relations with it. We should think that the black hand of Democracy and the red hand of archy might shake with a friendly grip, and by so doing cause all intelligent and impar- tial people to look upon and regard it as the most harmonious kind of a combination. The country has had a good dose of this spiked black hand through which nothing slips, and its ungracious shadow no longer disturbs the peace of mind even of superstitious people. Therefore let its shadow, cast by the search-light of Republicanism, dance and caper. No one is ny great extent by its presence, can be fooled into believing that it is anything more than a shadow of a hand that stands for the jumping-jack methods of slippery David of Wolfert’s Roost. No one can be fooled into believ. ing that Underhill Parker is anything more than a mere tool, double-edged for double dealing, in the grip of the black hand that rocks the cradle of infamy, but does not rule the world of reason. That Underhill Parker i: menace to everything that savors of good government and industrial prosperity is a fact so well established in the minds of people who think and reason and bathe that it means that the country is safe for Roosevelt and Fair- banks. The black hand may clasp Underhill Parker with a mighty grip, and Underhill Parker may fondly fancy t while in the black hand which is the composite hand of the hands of his friends, he is something other than a com- mon tool. Be that as it may, his fearful and wonderful financial antics, and his long period of silence, rather puz- zle us to conclude, when we realize that money talks, whether or not he is, after all, a mere hush-money candi- date. Let us trust, however, that his pumpkin and potato crop may be more of a gilt- edged success than will the crop of votes for which the black hand is now industri- ously irrigating the unsavory Democratic field with barbed- wire rot-gut. comicbooks.com