Judge — September 3, 1904 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ar me Parkxe Bereprxe, Fourtn Av Wastaex Anvaerisixe Orrice— 13 Eunorean sauns-acnnrs—Intermational Newt Company, Bream's buriding, Chancery The contents of JUDGE are rrotected by conyright in both the United States and Great Britain. otherwise retara of th DRAWINGS and descriotive letterpress si insure safe and promot return of material not accented. PUBLISHED WEEKLY ® axt NINeTERNTH StREET, New Yorm. iding, Chicago, It, AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. $300 he postal union, $5.00 a year. C Opera, Paris: Seariach's News Exchange, Mainz, Germany. pement of this copyright will be promptty and bizorousiy prosecuted. latter when found unavailatte cannot be guaranteed. y on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying foke or closure of stamps to the ful! amount of postage (s also required, 10 I" IS NOW safe betting that Bryan is not worth his weight in free silver. EVEN AS PRICE is no criterion of value, so is success no criterion of merit. T# T IS asad thing to say, but in the bright lexicon of politics the rottenest and not the soundest specimens are found at the top. T MAY never have occurred to the average voter that both Parker and Roosevelt are Hill men. One is Underhill and the other is on the hill. One is the mouthpiece and the door-mat of David B., and is of the hill hilly. The other is of the San Juan variety, and is a preferred specimen. And the difference between the two has a distinction annexed to it. 'HE THREE R’S of politics seem to be three of a kind in every instance, and the people, be they voters or not, who will Lake the trouble to make a study of them will subsequently show their amazement with open eyes and blank countenances. To begin with, we have the three R’s that I theorist can never make a mountain of any- thing of a davehill. should give old Uncle David a large, radiating pain in his mental appendix —namely, Roosevelt, Republicanism exists on the alphabet, the Democrats Rs as they please on their banners. nd Re-ele As no copyright ¢ likewise a right to put as many hus we have the three great Demo- cratic R’s—Rapine, Rascality and Rotgut. The R’s can be found in each party—you pays your money and you takes your choice. NCLE SAM cannot be fooled all the time, and the people who in these days enter into business relations with him are beginning to realize that he has benefited by experience, and that he consequently is as sharp as a razor in any kind of a transaction. Underhill’ Parker having practi- cally made an application for a one-term job, Uncle Sam has seen fit to look up his references and record. He admits that he likes his looks, and at the same time realizes that appearances are often deceptive, and that a coun- tenance may be amiable and loveable and still cover a multitude of defects. Uncle Sam wants a man whose character, and not whose face, is his for- tune. When he looks upon the picture of Underhill Parker, beautiful, guileless and smiling, he doubtless trusts that he is as good at the core as he appears to be on the surface. But he shakes his head and seems per- plexed and mystified when he gazes upon the backers of the Esopus farmer. He seems to be trying to reach a conclusion as to whether these preferred uglies belong in trees or in cages, and what business such a set of jous rapscallions has to mix itself up with a national issue. With such backers Uncle Sam is ladling out and pouring his sympathy on the troubled feelings of Underhill Parker, while he implores of him in the most friendly spirit to go forth in search of better references, even while he won- ders how he, the Esopus statesman, can espouse the cause of gold when he voted twice for free silver. IN THE SMART SET. “The Uppertens lead an ideal ‘family life.’ ‘Do they never quarrel ?"" Never. She is in Europe, he at Saratoga, and the children are with their grandmother.”* comicbooks.com