Judge — September 3, 1904 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE CANDIDATE. Jou see him now—the one who greets With unction every one he meets. He bows and smiles and smiles and bows, And asks a dozen tender “how's.” It's ** How is business? How's your wife?” With forty other things in life. Is this your baby? Oh, what bliss!" (This kid he smothers with a kiss.) With deep regret he leaves your door. He wants to know of you what more There is that he can fondly do For unexampled love of you. ‘Then he departs, with step el: And *mountain-dews” of latest brands Dispenses with such royal flow You'd like his source of wealth to know. Where voters gather or come nigh There's not a want he won't supply. a cart and stand he speaks that he seeks, And simply If you will make him coroner. Sometimes, though, votes and speeches fail, there’s a very luckless tale Uncte Si—'* Here's yer room, mister.” JORL. BRENTON. fieiiee tatead HOW HE WAS INTERESTED. Mr. Ritey—" Ah, ladies, yer don’t know how | am in- Mr. Ritey (an hour water)—" Dat wuz a coup— terested in your cause, especially in de demolishment uv de both me competitors put out uv bizness an’ deir patrons vile gin-mills uv Casey and Coogan, on dis street. Axcept pilin’ in so thick dat de reformers co: ten dollars fer new hatchets ter smash deir saloons.”* room ter smash my joint if dey tried.”” GETTING AWAY FROM THE PAST. 66] MY plans for your new home,” says the archi- tect, “I have provided for a large, ornate frieze in the hall.” “Don't want ii,” asserts Mr. Conjeeled. What?” “Not a bit of it. Can't take any chances on having some one being reminded that L used to drive an ice-wagon.” THE hammer-headed shark was knocking his neigh- bors. “Huh!” he remarked, chewing a piece of sea-weed, “that old cod thinks he’s the real thing because he has a liver; but he isn’t such an epi- cure after all. Why, for get- ting balled up at a dinner he simply takes the cake.” TO KEEP COOL. HU He Country soaoer—""Um-—yes. If it's all the same to you, could | sleep in the dog- LITTLE DROPS. E drops of water the weather 's dry Send a farmer's «thank you" Little drops of water From the soda-fount Hit a fellow’s lucre Quite a good amount. Little drops of water On her bathing-suit Make the summer maiden For the bath-house scoot. Jor conn. NOISY AND FOOLISH. se] ETS get Jingler to get us up a new class- yell,” suggests the senior. “He can't do it. He's busy this fall writing campaign songs. Says all he has to do is to take two or three yells and make them rhyme.” Dreamy Grumps—‘'I wuz jest a-thinkin’, pard, if | had a lot uv money I'd build a nice, big house.” Dusty Ruopes—“ Wot kind uv a house—one uv dem marble ones, or brown-stone, or red brick, or’ keep p: The fa wide. : Imost “Ps sale thing | Schop mostly De! sippi At sed Lat Ce ee a a. eo - ann Sol baby “Te ershiy young Ke he ac New Dreamy Grumps—‘* Nit—not fer mine! I'd have a ice-cream-brick house, wid lemon-meringue trimmi: comicbooks.com