Judge, 1904-08-20 · page 14 of 16
Judge — August 20, 1904 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily an **advertising and filler-content page** from Judge magazine, with several brief humorous items rather than political satire. ## The Cartoons/Jokes: **"Johnny's Age"** satirizes childhood's awkward middle ground—old enough for chores, too young for adult activities or knowledge. It captures a relatable complaint about arbitrary parental restrictions. **Other brief jokes** include workplace humor ("undertaker's assistant"), cannibalism humor (topical for the era's colonial adventure stories), and domestic situations. **"A Mermaid's Maiden Murmur"** is a mild sexual joke: a mermaid fiancée wishes her suitor had octopus-like multiple arms—implying desire for increased physical affection. ## Advertisements: The page features large ads for **Loftis Bros. jewelry** (diamonds on credit), **The Keeley Cure** (a legitimate medical treatment for alcohol/drug addiction), and **Zim's Quarterly** (a humor book). The overall content reflects Judge's mix of advertising and light, domestic humor rather than sharp political commentary. Most jokes target everyday life rather than public figures or events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
We Are Ready to send on approval ‘& Diamond, Wate! or any article that a may select from copy today—sent promptly, no charge, postage fully prepaid. You Pay No Money nti Zou reseive the article and are ig satiated with ta goallty, Tad pricenand Want to flay 1 Cash or Credit en and Jewelry either oreble conditicns tas ‘equal monthly payments, ‘Dereon enn command all the deatrabie the Lefule’ by stem oa credit terme, — ‘and Guaity of every diatsond atk any diamond or Ms ange (or other good THE LOYTIO BYATEM of set rer eld foeleartn ta taken from tna mines In Ponte Africa, to the perfectly cut and poltabea gems ‘Bot fallto beet a LOFTIS BROS. &» CO. Bat JOHNNY'S AGE. I'm just exactly old enough To always have to run When ma wants something at the store, Or pa can think of something more Around here to be done. I'm lots and lots too old—at least That's what they always say— To fly a kite or have a sling, Or ever do most anything They seem to think is play. But pa and ma, when I'm around, Most always whisper, though, Or else they make me hustle out, ‘Cause they've so much to talk about That I'm too young to know. —Chicago Record-Herald. “So you lost your position as under- taker's assistant ?” “Yes, You see, 1 used to be a con- ductor on a street-car, and I couldn't get out of the way of telling people to step lively, please."— Washington Star, “How do you like the new mission- a Haven't tried him yet,” replied the cannibal king ; “he was painfully ema- ciated when he arrived."— Houston Post. “Well, Pat, I heard your brother was sent to prison for life.” “Yis; but he’s so delicate he'll never live to complete the sintince."— Chicago Journal, “ How did you like our new duct ?" she asked. “Oh, was that a new duet? you were only quarreling Statesman, I thought — Yonkers The Four-Track News for September is full of the wine of thought that in spirit matches the atmospheric cocktail peculiar tb this beautiful season of the year. The table of contents is a long, interesting one, as well as one that is quite unsurpassed for the variety that is the spice of a first-class magazine. “The Mother-in-law of the Navy" and “ The Roof of the World" are titles that should stimulate curiosity. There are many others equally interest- ing, both in prose and in verse. With such a list of good things the Four- Track News is sure to find a warm welcome in every town from Saccarappa to San Fran: cisco, and from Minneapolis to El Paso. For further particulars apply to George H..Daniels, publisher, 7 East Forty-second New York city. A MERMAID'S MAIDEN MURMUR. Swirwrecked woorr—" Darling, are you happy?" Mermaip Fiancee (abstractedly)—"' Yes, dear; but had you as many arms as the octopus I would be perfectly happy. tor Liquor ana Drug Using A scientific remedy which has been skilfully and successfully administered by medical specialists for the past 25 years, ALL CORRESPONDENCE CONFIDENT1AL Pertiand, Ore, dorth Conway, K. H faeskei. — rovldewse, Rok. Kien White tatan 1 Mrs. Housekeep— Yes, I'm going to! “My husband says if you want to he take the children away to the country for successful when you're fishing you must- a few weeks.” n’t talk.” Mrs. Naybor— You'll take your serv-| “Of course, that’s true.” ant girls along with you, of course ? + But suppose you're fishing for a com. Mrs, Houskeep — Certainly not! 1] pliment ?"—Philadelphia Press. need a rest myseif."— Philadelphia Press. oo “Do you give gas here?" asked the Hear about Bifkins ?" man with the enlarged jaw, as he entered (0; what about him 2" | the dental parlor, . ‘married his cook last} “No,” replied the dentist; “you have to pay extra for it. This isn’t a barber's shop."— Cincinnati Enquirer. Green— Brown > Green—" He weel Brown —“ That's just like Bifkins, He'd rather fight than eat."— Chicas News. “ Didn't you say there were no mosqui- 1 Farmer Corntosse “and we never misrepresent. That vertisement was written last March Washington Star. Brother Dickey’s philosophy : De bible tell de sluggard ter go ter de ant; but in dese days de most er dem goes ter de father-in-law.—dlanta Constitution. ZIM’S QUARTERLY id DRAWINGS ALL BY “ZIM” A BOOK FULL OF LAUGHS e The most unique collection of FUN, WIT and HUMOR offered the public in recent years 4 READY EARLY IN AUGUST 25 Cents Postpaid -. Order It To-Day JUDGE COMPANY 225 FOURTH AVENUE, - . - NEW: YORK comicbooks.com