Judge, 1904-08-20 · page 10 of 16
Judge — August 20, 1904 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century humor: **"Song of Shekels"** mocks Jewish immigrants' perceived obsession with money, using "shekels" (a Jewish currency reference) and exaggerated dialect to ridicule financial ambition. **"Nine Lives"** is a straightforward domestic joke: a cat bought nine insurance policies because she was told she has nine lives, and must pay for each one. **"Tit for Tat"** satirizes lawyers as poisoners—a lawyer carrying "aconite, arsenic, strychnine" is equipped for his profession, implying lawyers are as deadly as toxins. **"Classified"** uses racist minstrel-show dialect ("Tambo," "Sistah Bones") to make a crude political comparison between Washington and Bryan, likely referring to William Jennings Bryan. **"The Very Latest"** jokes about automobiles as dangerous new technology. **"Recklessness"** humorously describes a man struck by lightning while proving lightning rods don't attract lightning—ironic comeuppance. The page reflects Judge's casual bigotry alongside general satirical commentary on American life and new technologies.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SIMPLY A SONG OF SHEKELS. I TIS cash for hash that makes me dance, Whi fli advance. Joy-aglow, And feel that fate, With vim late, Care's edge undeckels, Don't you know? Oh, cash aeflash is more than fine, And fat the patent-leather shine On me in glee it puts kerfl ‘The while I smile and prance and hop. And as the Jappy Licks the Russ, T hammer fate To pulp elate, And am a happy Little cuss. NINE LIVES. SURE SGN. Doo—" Wot yer growlin’ “bout, Tabby? ‘© YOU are losing interest in me,” she complains Cat—* Why, I went in to have my life insured, and He argues that he is not, but she pouts and repeats her assertion, Finally he blamed if I didn’t have to pay for nine policies wants to know why she says such a thing. 5 * Because,” she says, “you tied my shoe this afternoon in a knot that would not FEY POR, FATS... . come untied of ieselt™ Lawyer—"\'ve got such a cold this morning that I can't speak the truth.” Doctor —“ Well, it. seems to be nothing that will inter- fere with your busines Lawyer—" Have you anything with you I can take 2" Doctor —" Nothing but aconite, arsenic, strychnine, and some other poisons.” Lawyer—"You seem to be pretty well equipped for your business Doctor—" Good-day, sir.” Lawyer—* Good-day. CLASSIFIED. S¢ISTAH BONES," said Tambo, “what am de difference bet Washin’ton an’ W nin’s Bryan?” “ Lgives it up." sie VERY. LATEST. “Washin'ton was de fo- “Say, Silas, look at thet autermotile kickin’ up."* ther an’ Bryan is de bother ob “Well, I'll be gin-swiggled! but thet must be one o’ them there wild western autermobiles.”” his country. RECKLESSNESS. 66 ANY news up your way?” asks the country editor, “Nope; nothin’ much. Only— Did you hear about Jed Hawkins’s trick with the lightnin‘-rod_ durin’ the thun- der-storm last Friday ?” “No. What was that?” “Why, you know Jed ‘s been a-arguin’ all along to his father that lightnin’-rods didn’t draw lightnin’ down, an’ finally he pulled the rod off the barn durin’ that storm an’ walked around with it slung over his shoulder to prove his side of the case. An’ the lightnin’ struck "—— “Struck Jed 2” “No; struck the barn.” First mosquite—" What makes you so disgruntled ?” Second mosquite— Here I've been biting a billiard-ball THERE MERELY IN A JUDICIAL CAPACITY. by mistake for the last ten Faruer Reouackie—"' What are you doin’ in my hen-house, you india-rubber dog?” é Ps "Rastus—'* Why—er—ah—Abe Johnsing bet yo’ had more'n twenty chickings, an’ Pete Williams bet yo" hadn't, an’ minutes,’ I'm jes’ de jedge to decide de bet."” comicbooks.com