Judge — August 6, 1904 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A father recently overheard his young son use a word he did not approve, and, calling the child to him, said, * My son, if you will promise me never to use that word again I'll give you a silver dime.” The little fellow promised, and, true to his word, refrained. About a week later he went to his father and said, « Papa, I've learned a new word worth fifty cents."— Philadelphia Press. Said he,“ You'rea peach. Fly with me!" She replied, as she dashed all his hope, “You're mistaken. A ‘peach,’ did you say? Well, I'm not—I'm a cantaloupe.” —Philadelphia Bulletin, “What makes you think Windyman’s wife is such a bright woman? She never | says anything particularly interesting.” “No; but she always manages to mo- nopolize the conversation so that he won't have a chance to make a fool of himself.” —Detroit Free Press. “Our next experiments,” said the gov- ernment chemist, “ will be in the direction of cold storage. We want to know how long food supplies can be preserved wi ice and retain their healthful propertie: + Don't do it,” said the man who boards round. “The last duck our landlady gave us for Sunday dinner lasted ten days."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. From August 10th to November 10th THE CAMPAIGN JUDGE FOR $1.25 It preaches Republicanism as no other periodical does, through forceful and timely cartoons, so that even those who cannot read may understand. It is the laughter-producing friend of everybody, and has dispelled mare gloom than has any other publication. If you are in favor of Republican supremacy, see that the CAMPAIGN JUDGE is circulated wherever there are doubtful voters. Send $1.25 for the best three months of the campaign. JUDGE COMPANY 225 FOURTH AVENUE, NEW YORK Pocket Maps Road Guide tor Liquor ana Drug Using medical specialists for the past 25 years. ALL CORRESPONDENCE CONFIDENTIAL oven Conny B Wine Pina Rarrtabers, Pe. . Dionysius casually called Damocles’s| «He certainly is an adept in the art of attention to the sword suspended above | conversation.” his head by a single hair. “Tnoticed it when I sat down,” said Damocles, and at first sight of it I was a good deal alarmed. 1 thought it was one of these torpedo canes.” Thereupon, loosening his belt, he at- tacked the next course with great gusto. —Chicago Tribune. “Yes; but what a pity he isn’t m adept in the art of saying something. Philadelphia Press. “Say, Smith, how did you obtain a di vorce so quickly 2” « The judge who tried the case was my wife's first husband."—New York Times. The Asiatic Crisis One of the greatest struggles in history opens with the Russo-Japanese war. may change the entire map of Asia, and perhaps Europe. other nations becoming involved ? MICHAEL DAVITT, former Member of Parliament, who invest Its outcome What likelihood is there «f fed the Kishineft atrocities, says in the New York Herald: Look up the fought, En long the history of the Crimean War and find how long Russia Mand, Vrance, ‘Tuckey and Sandiola comblaed, to fied how ar’s Army can stand up against Japan.” Ridpath’s History of the World ~ “The only World’s History that reads like a story- book, yet is recognized as a standard authority,” is a necessity at all times, and doubly so now Sent_on_ Seven Days’ Approval GREAT NEWSPAPERS AND OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLAR: of the armies and navies. To appreciat back than the newspapers and magazines 9 Volumes I teches Tall, & leckes Wise ‘Thick, 4.000 Tits: esopy Hes Sat Boeck PERIODICALS WILL SPEND HUNDREDS to give you the latest news of batt yvement ‘and mor take you. can't understand the news of the war unless you're reasonably familiar with the history and development of these countries. “Nowhere find everythin ‘want to know 30 succinctly and interestingly told as in Ridpath's History of the Worl A SAVING OF FIFTY ecte—n0 torn, te argng cotalde, the book trade. We will dlpose of them at what covers torn off, and on small moathly That specimen book will tel you all about the 1 SW irae be erie. OW. terest utertain yon, WHT tt, and 7 ie one of the slightly mismatched sets at ‘than the subscription price. Terrill & Baker, Publishers, MM East 16th Street, New York PER CENT. ‘a few slightly * rubbed” and miamatched iifcrence would scarcely be te Mather than rebind such small tot ‘they would be werth te us with the ‘payments. If you mention Jcpax you need not cut out coupon. comicbooks.com