Judge, 1904-07-23 · page 10 of 16
Judge — July 23, 1904 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces reflecting early 1900s American life: **"Sonnet in Summer"** mocks a clerk stuck at his desk during hot weather, envying wealthy people's seaside vacations while consoling himself with beer—satire on class inequality and working-class frustration. **Prison dialogue** jokes about criminals' pretense to dignity, suggesting all social classes are equally corrupt—cynical social commentary. **Baseball reference** makes light fun of a boy becoming a second baseman, treating it as an unlikely success—period humor about baseball's social status. **"Look Out For This"** satirizes post-Russo-Japanese War military tours, making a crude pun: American sailors who "corked" Port Arthur's harbor are called the "cork's crew," with an explanation that Japan does everything backwards (including using corkscrews for corking). This mocks both Japanese customs and American military pride. **"The Old Question"** references the Biblical story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego surviving a fiery furnace, twisting it into a joke about summer heat. Overall: working-class complaints, military satire, and subversive social commentary typical of Judge's satirical approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SONNET IN SUMMER. By a clerk. IN HIGH stool seated, right beneath the tiles, Methought from out my perch aérial here fiaming glass of beer not easily one reconciles Sweet summer with the desk and inky smear. Vacation smiles Inut only once a year, And beer alone the leaden hours beguiles. The wealthy ones have to the seashore flown 5 They walk the shady side of Easy stree By wind and wave they're metamorphosed brown ; But when the clock strikes five and time 's my own, Then beer, cool beer, is compensation sweet all my griefs—and won't I pour it down! Se THAT condemned man in the upper tier of cells needn't put on so many airs,” growled the pickpocket who was locked in with the common herd, “We're all in the same bos SPLENDID! Possibly so,” retorted the condemned man, who had Mrs. Havricr—" How's your son gettin’ on?” overheard the remark, “ But “—arranging the flowers that Mxs. Watercress—"' Got a letter from him sayin’ he's second baseman daown tew had been sent in that morning—« you will observe that Lam Mege- Mas. Havrick—"‘There! what did I tell yew? I always sed thet boy had a good traveling first-cabin.” voice." LOOK OUT FOR THIS. HE Russo-Jap war is over. Through the United States tours a little body of brave men—those who dashed into the harbor of Port Arthur and sunk the ship that bottled up the place. “You are the men who corked the neck that held the port?” asks a person somewhere during their tour, “Yes, honorable sir,” responds the spokesman. «We were the cork’s crew.” To thoroughly understand this, one should re- member that in Japan everything is done backward ; hence a corkscrew is used for corking. THE OLD QUESTION. SHADRACH, Meshach and Abed-nego had spent the night in the fiery furnace. “ Good-morning,” they remarked when the doors were opened. “Is it hot enough for you 2” Miss Farmer—“' See here, Josh Medders! didn't | write ye never ter come round here again?" Jos Meoers—"Sure, Mirandy. | simply come round ter see what ye didn't want me ter With a savage, baffled yell, their persecutors come round fer." fled the scene. SHE KNEW HIM. He—" Did you tell your father | was a poet?"" Sne—'No; | didn't have the nerve. He has read your books.” comicbooks.com