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Judge, 1904-07-09 · page 17 of 24

Judge — July 9, 1904 — page 17: what you’re looking at

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Judge — July 9, 1904 — page 17: Judge, 1904-07-09

What you’re looking at

This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of *Judge* magazine's satirical style, plus period advertisements. The main cartoon, "Non-Committal," mocks art auction culture: an amateur collector asks two experts for opinions on a painting. Expert No. 2 gives deliberately vague praise ("you can't go far wrong"), hedging by suggesting it's either a valuable Titian or merely "a repetition" (imitation). The joke satirizes how dealers and experts avoid commitment to protect themselves from both parties—a timeless critique of evasive professionalism. Other brief items include jokes about weather, plumbers overcharging regardless of actual work needed, and a merchant who keeps customers on the outside while staying safely inside—gentle satire on business practices and social behavior. The *Iver Johnson* revolver advertisement emphasizes an "accidental discharge" safety feature—highlighting genuine safety concerns relevant to the era. Other ads promote champagne, cigars, soap, and whiskey as period-appropriate products.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Truth Can be told about Great Western Champagne the Standard of American Wiaes ‘There is nothing to ‘conceal in its prod: Juice, fermented and aged toexact pertec- foctiotagy mgd quet and flavor that connoisseurs desire. « OF the atx Amert- PLEASANT VALLEY WINE CO., Sole Makers, Rhelms, N.Y. Sold hy respectable wine ‘dealers overyabere. “Mamma, teacher whipped a boy to- day for whispering in school.” “ Well, that was right.” “But, mamma, he hollered ten times he whispered."—Vew Yorker. FoR MEN OF BRAINS IGARS “MADE AT KEY WEST.— “Foiled !" muttered the yeast-cake as it was being wrapped in its glittering cover.— Yale Record. “Isn't this climate very changeable ?" “ No,” answered the old settler; what I would call very changeable. It keeps shiftin’ around until it gits about as disagreeable as it kin. An’ then it stays permanent."— Washington Star. Mr. Housekeep— Are you the man from Mr. Sodder’s to fix the water-pipes ?” The plumber—Yes, sit; an’ he sez it'll cost you fifty dollars. Mr, Housekecp What! Why, he hasn't seen the job ; he doesn’t know how much I want done.” The plumber— Mebbe not; but he told me how much to do."—Catholic Standard and Times, We had just asked the successful mer- chant for his motto. “Itis on both sides of the door,” was his stereotyped reply. ‘we responded, “+ Push" and + Nope,” he answered ; “I stay on the inside and keep you on the outside. And while the slam of the portal echoed in our ear we saw the true method of greatness,—New York Sun. “Have you read that new novel every- body is talking about?” asked the first dear girl. “Only the last chapter,” replied dear girl the second, “I wonder how it be- gins ?"—Chicago News, “The rolling stone gathers no moss,” but, perchance, momentum is worth more than moss.—Four-Track News. NON-COMMITTAL, Scene—Fushionable auction-rooms, A picture sale. Amateur COLLEcTOR (after taking advice of Expert No. 1, addresses Expert No. 2)— “What do you think of the picture? I am advised to buy it. Exrert No. 2 (wishing to please both parties) —' for anyhow, ift | is not a Titian, it’s a repe-tition.""— Punch, Is it not a fine Titian?” I don’t think you can go far wrong, ED TOP RYE GOOD WHISKE It's up to YOU Hammer the Hammer without the slightest fear of discharge, if it’s an ‘‘Iver Johnson.’’ You take no risk even if it is loaded with ball car- tridges. Try it at your peril with any other revolver irrespective of its price. The only revolvers which cannot possibly be discharged by accident art are the IVERJOHNSON REVOLVERS Throw one loaded against a stone-wall—on the floor—snap the hammer with your thumb—it cannot ‘go off BECAUSE the hammer never touches the firing pin under any circumstances. This is the exclusive patent of the“ Iver Johnson.” Press the trigger and it raises a lever between firing pin and hammer, which the hammer strikes, and it never fails to fire when you intend it should. No Argument is Required as to the Need of a Revolver in the house, at the office, when traveling. Your only fear is of accidental discharge, which is now entirely overcome to the satisfaction of every reasoning person. Iver Johnson Revolvers are for sale by dealers the world over, but if for any reason your dealer refuses to supply you, we will send direct. There is no real substitute ; don't accept a make-believe. PLEASE SEND FOR ILLUSTRATED Iver Johnson Iver Johnson Safety Automatic WN CATA POGUE, It TELLS THE Safety Automatic Hammer WHOLE STORY OF SIZES, Hammerless STYLES, CALIBRES AND PRICES. $600 Iver Johnson's Arms & Cycle Works - Fitchburg, Mass. clippings which may appear abeut You, your ines SRy niet on win You want 10 be up to a Every newspaper and periodical of importance tn United Site and Barope is aearehes erm ds ton notices. Haway Romain, 95 Ui Pears’ ‘The more purely negative soap is, the nearer does it approach perfection. ‘Unless you have used Pears soap you probably do not know what we mean by a soap with no free fat or al- kali in it—nothing but soap, Established over 100 years, JUDGE'S LIBRARY MAGAZINE ‘Ten Ceats a Copy SIS HOPKINS’ OWN BOOK Ten Cents a Copy JUDGE'S QUARTERLY ‘Twenty-five Cents a Copy JOEL JARVIS'S JAY JOKES Ten Cents a Copy Any of the above by mail from the publishers o receipt of price ees roroushily tet the quality of the goods. This ‘reas, MR COOK, care ot vt THe, ‘ait Angel Te 0. Adres JUDGE, New Yo PRESS OF BACKETT & WUHELUD LITHOORAPHING AND PRINTING COMPANY, NEW YORK.