Judge, 1904-06-25 · page 10 of 19
Judge — June 25, 1904 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains three distinct political humor pieces: **"At the Bar"** mocks political operatives ("fixer" and "mixer") seeking corrupt remedies—satirizing machine politics and backroom dealing. **"Spoiled His Story"** ridicules Chicago's police during convention week. A visitor complains that effective policing ruins his narrative—he came expecting exciting crime stories but officers keep preventing robberies and theft. The joke targets both the visitor's dubious priorities and implied Chicago corruption; honest policing "spoils" the expected lawlessness. **"Squelched"** shows a Democratic leader proposing his party stand on the 1896 platform. A listener responds that "almost everybody" already sat on that platform in 1896 and 1900—meaning the party has already failed those policies twice, rendering the suggestion ridiculous. **"A Melon-Choly Mistake"** (bottom comic strip) appears to depict slapstick consequences, though context is unclear from this excerpt. Overall, the page satirizes political corruption, ineffective leadership, and machine politics typical of *Judge's* era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AT THE BAR. HERE was a political fixer, Who met a political mixer. « Tneed,” said the fixer, « While fixing a mixer, A politic brand of elixir.” SPOILED HIS STORY. +4GIR.” says the dignified stranger, walking into the office of the chief of po- lice of Chicago during con- vention week, have a complaint to register against your men.” “What is it?” politely asks the chief. « They are too officious. Before coming here I had heard a great deal about the dangers of life in this city, but whenever two footpads try to hold me up an officer steps from the shadows and arrests them. Whena pick- pocket gets his hand-on my MIKE’S CONCLUSION. sing to listen) —* An’ phat do ye call thot ?”* Faix, thot moosht be phat Is called a jewett."* adjusts matters, And so it goes.” OW I certainly can't see where you have any complaint?” said the chief. “Can't? Why, how the dickens am I going to put any tinge of interest and ex- citement in the story of my visit to Chicago if this thing keeps up?" SQUELCHED. HE Democratic leader has drifted into Chi- cago to see what his friends the enemy are going to do, and he gets into a dis- cussion of coming political events. My opinion,” he de- clares, “is that our party will decide to stand on the platform of 1896." “Huh!” chuckles a watch an. officer nabs him; when a restaurant man overcharges me, listener.“ Almost everybody in the United States sat down on that or acabman tries to skin me, an officer is on the scene and readily _ platform in ‘96 and 1900." A MELON-CHOLY MISTAKE. 4 Botn—"* Hoodooed!"* comicbooks.com