Judge — June 18, 1904 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

At Tae Parkex Bortpinc, Fourtn AVENUE AXD LISHED WEEKLY INKTERNTH STREET, New Youx. Wastren Apveenisinc Orrice—1313 Hartford Building, Cricage, It TERMS TO SUBSC UNITED STATES AND CANAD. oF sa numbers - Crnastatas Juoce, UBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 a year. Evnorean satas-acents—/nternational News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, F.C London ; Brentano's, Avenue de "Opera, Paris: Saariach's News Exchange, Mains, Germany. The contents of JUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and bigorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inclose a stamped and self-addressed erfvelope with all manuscriats, othertise return of the latter when found unavailable cannot be guarantecd. DRAWINGS and all contribations sent to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and address Yoriten plainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying Joke or descriptive letter-press should in ébery instance be written upon its indtvidual picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. insure safe and promot return of material not accented. I" SEEMS to be the mission of Bryan to make a noise and of Gorman to make a silence in the world. In other respects they are quite alike. ANNON, Fairbanks, Hitt and Beveridge are said to have declined the nomination for the vice-presidency in advance. If two negatives make an affirmative, as we are told they do by Lindley Murray, four negatives must make two affirmatives. This being the case, the question that naturally ari which two of the above quartette would like to be- come their party ticket’s kite-tail? . THE BOSOMS of the ponds of New Jersey are now being Kerosened against the mosquito, although the kerosene method is regarded by many of the most eminent Newjerseyologists as an exploded theory. These worthies maintain that the kerosene not only supplies the mosquitoes with whiskers, but covers them with an armor of plush which will enable them to remain on the scene and do business during the winter moons. OOPING THE LOOP may not be the most daring and perilous of all the daring and perilous mid-air feats which are calculated to cause the beholder’s hair to stand on end, but it is one that so involves the bodily safety of the performer that only the most experienced expert has the nerve necessary for the undertaking. The most interesting of all the loops of the day is the prosperity loop, which is the one that is being suc- cessfully looped with a graceful and vigorous loopfulness by Mr. Roosevelt, who in his circular flights wins the applause of all lovers of scientific loop- ing, and proves conclusively that beside him the squirrel in the wire wheel is anything but a record-breaking success. Even when Mr. Roosevelt's head hangs downward he is on his feet, though flying. The prosperity loop is without a loophole. It is a solid, gilt-edged success that will stand the test of the strictest investigation and scrutiny. Its gold will stand the acid test, Inclosure of stamps t0 the full amount of postage ‘s also required, 10 and it may be tapped with hammers and found to be without a weak spot. It is such a ride that makes the rider in every way eligible for a second term; and when Mr. Roosevelt becomes weary of looping he can lightly light out of the loop and land on the second-term platform, which awaits him, and none other. In his riding of the prosperity loop, be it rough or gentle, he shows a patriotic prowess that reminds the old-fashioned Ameri- can of Sheridan and Paul Revere. E DO NOT KNOW the name of the individual to whom Mr. Car negie has intrusted his hero portfolio, but whoever he may be we would respectfully inform him that Judge Parker has recently disclosed a picturesque, not to say a tempestuous, ambition to become a member of the said stable. He is being backed and trained and touted by such experienced political jockeys as Hill, Gorman and Belmont for the national handicap of 1904. These worthies think they think that the buckwheat jurist will receive the nomination at St. Louis, and that he will follow up this triumph by beating Mr. Roosevelt in the presidential race. That is what they think they think, and if they think aright—which we do not think they do—then will Judge Parker be more than a Carnegie hero—he will be the free and independent kind of self-made hero that is recognized at home and abroad as the genuine article, whose colors are fast and warranted not to bag at the knee. At present Parker’s strongest chance lies in the fact that Bryan is opposed to his candidacy. It is not a very strong chance, and yet it is stronger than many lay minds fondly fancy. If Judge Parker's only hope of becoming a hero lies in his chances of beating Mr. Roosevelt in the coming piesidential contest, it is not likely that he will ever become one of even the Carnegie brand. In fact, it is good one-hundred-cent dollars against common steel-stock shares that when the votes have been counted in No- vember the jurist from the chawbacon regions will have a monopoly of the hinder end of the procession that will make him feel as McClellan must have felt in 1864. : THEY WERE ON A HONEYMOON. Mrs. Ketty (on her wedding-tour)—'' Och, Pat! if ye kape on kissin’ me so much iverybody will know we are jusht married.”* Mr. Ketty—"Let thim. Of'll not be afther batin’ ye so quick as this jusht to fool a lot av rubber-necks.”