Judge — May 21, 1904 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Gee whiz! Dumley is mad this morn- | Yes. His boy's teacher sent home word yesterday that the boy's composition was the worst she had ever read.” + Wounded his pride in his son, eh 2” “No; in himself, Dumley wrote it for e boy."—Philadelphia Ledger. rvant’s visitor — Your missus used ork out herself, didn’t she ? . but it must have been | ag time ago, for she never orders me ind much,"—Cleveland Leader. Vedderly—* Politics in our ward is ainly in an awtul condition.” irs, Wedderly—* Then why don’t they | one_of those ward heelers to doctor Rule well thy passions and desires; In short, so play thy part That in thy tenement of clay The janitor thou art. vw York Sun, Yinune—" There is nothing I hate so! much as a lazy man,” Hrowne—" Well, 1 wish move of them. ne—" You do?” vowne—* Sure. The more lazy men there are the less competition we'd have in business." Philadelphia Press. there were The duke— Is it true that you are go- ing to marry an American heiress ?” The count—* It is.” The duke—* What's her name The count— Don't know yet."—Chi- cage News. Systematic Shampooing with Packer's Tar Soap Pure as the Pines means healthy hair and scalp and prevents premature baldness} The Packer Mfg. Co., New York. Arcadia MIXTURE. “One need only to put his head in at my door to realize that tobaccos are of two kinds, the Arcadia and others. My Lady Nicotine, THE “SOHMER” HEADS THE LIST OF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS SOHMER PIANOS Sohmer Building, gue 3th Aven cor a2 Bt. Yer First microbe— So he had to choose between love and money 2” Second microbe—"Ves; he couldn't | decide whether to live on a kiss or a dol- lar bill."—New York Sun. Student— Doctor, what do you think of problem novels ? Doctor—1 am recommending them instead of the city directory for insomnia | patients."— Cleveland Leader. “There's talk,” said the bookkeeper, * of a bookkeepers’ labor league. 1 won der what the public would think of our union 2” “Oh, Mr. Adder!” | Hunter, the typewriter, * den "Philadelphia Led BAD DREAMS INDICATE IMPROPER DIET, USUALLY DUE To CoFF One of the common symptoms of coffee poisoning is the bad dreams that spoil what should be restful sleep. A man who found the reason says: «Formerly I was a slave to coffee. 1 was like a morphine fiend, could not sleep at night, would roll and ‘toss in my bed, and when I did get to sleep was disturbed by dreams and hobgoblins ; would wake up with headaches and feel bad all day, so nervous I could not attend to business. My writing looked like bird tracks ; I had sour belchings from the stomach, indiges- tion, heartburn and palpitation of the heart, constipation, irregularity of the kidneys, ete. «Indeed, I began to feel I had all the troubles that human flesh could suffer, but when a friend advised me to leave off cof- fee I felt as if he had insulted me. I could not bear the ide: Jsuch a hold on me and I refused to believe it the cause. “ But it tured out that no advice was ever given ata more needed time, for I finally consented to try Postum, and with the going of coffee and the coming of Pos- tum all my troubles have gone and health has returned. Leat and sleep well now, nerves steadied down and I write a fair hand (as you can see); can attend to busi- ness again and rejoice that Iam free from the monster coffee.” Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. Ten days’ trial of Postum in place of coffee will bring sound, restful, refreshing sleep. There's a reason. exclaimed Miss his is so sud- iver. Look in each package for the famous | | little book, “ The Road to Wellville.” The chap who was taking his first air- ship voyage began to turn pale. + How are you feeling, ol man?" asked the aérial pilot. “Rather queer,” replied the other as | he gazed at the silver lining on the clouds far below ; the weather. but I don’t seem to be under —Chicago News. Jack the giant-killer put on his cap of wisdom. + You see,” he explained, it makes me know as much as the college youth thinks he know: Thus we can easily see how our beloved hero was absolutely invincible, — York Sun, is perfectly assured of getting: icle in the market at a very reasonable «They are criticising you for not ex- pressing an opinion. “ Perhaps,” answered the silent candi- date ; “but not as much as they would criticise the opinions if I expressed any.” —Washington Star. Put new life i ¢ run-down bott’s Angostura Bitters does it. it to kill that + tired feel “Bobby, here's yo ust go right to bed !” I want more pay and longer Indianapolis Fournal, CracKers and Cheese Make a bite of Supreme delight ‘when washed down with penny, and you how Evans Ale Appetizing one Satistying Just Right for Wi ovcenloria: Try it for a change. “How do you account for the fact” asked the doctor, “as shown by actual ine vestigation, that’ thirty-two out of every {hundred criminals in the country are left-handed 2” “ That's easily accounted for,” said the professor; “the other sixty-eight are right-handed."—Chicago Tribune. “What makes Mr. Jones screw up his face so dreadfully 2” “Why, that’s the face that goes with his automobile cap."—Cleveland Plain Dealer Fox physi “The Japanese have a system of 1 training calied jiu-jitsu, which it med enables the weak to master the strong.” Knox —" Why? Are the strong barred fiom learning it?"—Chicago Herald, Miss Scraper (amateur violinist) — “Did you notice that old man crying while I'was playing my sonata Friend— Yes, "He said your playing reminded him of old happy days.” Miss Scraper—* What! he a violine ‘0; he was a piano-tuner.” New York Weekly. inealeee bverywhere’ James Scarlett § Co. 391 Fifth Avenue, New York Telephone, 2988 Madison Over One Million Endowment Policies are in force in this country, rep- resenting ultimate accumulations of over Two Billio you like to jol in Dollars. Wouldn’t in this vast army of money saversP The most pro- gressive, enterprising young men of America are included in its ranks. The Prudential Insurance Co. of America Sf JOUNF. DRYDEN, Home President. Office: VISIT THE PRUDENTIAL’ EXHIBIT, PALACE OF EDUCATION, WORLD'S . AIR, ST. LOUIS, CALIFORNIA—Four Days from New York or Boston—By New York Central comicbooks.com