Judge — May 14, 1904 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

e: e e BALLADE OF DEAD SLANG. Millions Drink _ |stasg cones ana goose the Intex stunt grows old— To-day's glad rags next week are on} the bum ; | The warmest baby in the bunch grows cold, To catch the drag new all-right rackets come. Get next ! Get wise! Go, rubber, or) oe AM ERI CX S be dumb ! “Twould phaze the cheapest guy to under- stand The, jashes that, the old man thought SU M M E R For last year’s gags will never get a i Chestnuts are ringers for a brick of gold, RESORTS.” ‘There's nothing in a “flabbergasted ” Absolutely pure.} drum; In our registered | THe spiel is sklectracked, once it has been} bottles only. At) We pare, back-nlimbers: like discard- This is one of the most complete publica- all dealers. valde it Wouldn't it jar you, now, to stand for tions of its kind, and will assist those who are some H.B.KIRK &CO.,N.Y.,Sole Bottlers. Old song-and-dance that used to beat the wondering where they will go to spend their band ? vacation this summer. It_ makes us weary, leary, grouchy, In dis new year I gwine ter wear glum, It contains a valuable map, in addition to sroantal : For last year’s gags will never get a A eG : fi A beaver, on dese handy ever 8 much interesting information regarding resorts gut whar I gwine ter g ! ¢ ‘ Is mo’ dan I kin tell ! “Free from the care which wearies and annoys, Where every hour brings its several joy Get gay with jollies ere they gather mould, on or reached by the I gwine ter feast on turkey The skate grows nutty p. d. ql fat ez dem dey sell, r vum! , a ing i But des whar I gwine git um You're up against the real thing—an . 7 = . ts mo’ dan ['kin tell behold, NEW YORK CENTRAL LINES, Atlanta Constitution. A swift kick knocks the proposition numb! ——— 2 | James Scarlett § Zo.| Ms frslsh Her: lr noone now A copy will be sent free, upon receipt of a two-cent stamp, by But get a hunch that spots the sporty George H1. Daniels, General Passenger Agent, New York Central & Cailors : ‘ Central Station, New York. ooo oe IVS up to you to swipe the ripest plum, 391 Fifth Avenue, New York [PMR sets sss will never get a Telephone, 2988 Madison ‘ov. “ Chestnut,” you are a dead one—so suc-| , sf “How's the race problem in your neigh-| American magnate—* What! You ine Some Startlin Facts jou net a borhood, Brier Williams ?” sist upon my settling a million on you? You get the glassy eye, you cannot pon my if y Aah Thal Teabdatn Cass Pe. ae “Well, sub, at las’ accounts some er de| Why, yesterday you said only five hun- fesslon— Advertising, Big. Slaries We play no steadies, in our verbal slum, |Swif-footed niggers, wuz still ten mile) dred thousand. Paid Bright Prospetts for Beginners For last year's gags will never get a[ahead er de shirff!"—Adanta Constitu-| Duke— But since then I've seen the A billion a year! That sum, The New Vork Times hand! fad — girl Teen Topics. tats isi spent wn this country for advertising. Th —Chicago Record-Herald. . Shae hs hada mos aaa Mr. Dash—“1s your cook amiable ing the past ten years. when you bring home unexpected com- One hundred thousand | We note with affairs reminiscent pany to dinner ? men and women are now Gagaged in disectng the | The changes the decades have played ;| M/r. Rash—* Oh, we have a guaranteed expenditure of that vast His words of love delight her, She's such a lonely lass. He makes her life much brighter By turning down the gas. tare of that vast | The crust of society isn't asbestos curtain between our dining-room E Philadelphia Press, ftowing need for people| The kind that our mothers have made. | and kitchen."— Cincinnati Tribune. Gualifed to do this work —New York Sun. ; ‘i Sel “Many are now 4 + You don’t mean to say you girls have Waking up to the 1 Ttserves'Ker qoodland right started a secret society Fact « How now 2” “Yes; it's a society whose members that it's very remanera- 4 ledge themselves to tell all the secrets P ry reminera, «She became engaged on a Friday and| Pedge the Mahle: ie ee SPECI AL loses cores ameees | they know."—Philadelphia Ledger. EONS ie erly there ‘al surely be aay wall” | aesieere umber of good positions ae “Well, now she can't get a divorce !"| | He—" But doesn’t my devotion arouse Secing coepetent ade FFER —New Vork Evening Sun. in you some sort of feeling for me?" Totes Begin mow and I'l have you ready for one of ‘ar net She—"Oh, yes; the sort one takes Xow, remember the demand isnot for, those who ila ninres vanes. ; , sarsaparilla for in the spring."— Chicago veneer few hesounding word and he OP et secoranttoe I! smpatient young man— Nellie, how| News. mi Bit Norehcepete and manulacteress every- cus. | fen, See eed sou f [is our romance—yours and mine—going to prepare ona plese tose burial woe abies " Haking Powder, we will fl] to end 2” Ella—" If a man were to kiss you on waiciaivel eh trl Sootes che Lace bot toe scbect jellic ive) —"" Why, Goef-| one cheek would you turn the other ?” ape ment protiatly bandied” In short, forthe kind cia chargencsouatyovnay Hl frey, you don’t wank to skip to the last) Svel/a— I should try, but my mouth alka moment Is chat only le brag--ealk of the We are willing the BEAT | of the goods. This chapter yet, do you ?"—Chicago Tribune. | might get in the way."— Town Topics. ‘clove "Ten fet the Fecords prove the trath of that | DAC, COFFEE |cireredr nt civer at Fpriemct by thy succenses my graduates have uniiorm: |[J Gove oasea Corrine, | chance to yurchase our As echcal ee eres ane are TTP ARTs taa “toe. «| goods at lena than cost. ear et ee ett im Neca ne Loe 8 Sta econ | AR COOK, co o THE GREAT AMERICA TE CD. : : ALI: POl NTED PENS Wthas enrolled many who have experimented with other ‘Vesey Street, P. 0. Box 289, New York. ]}) Pia a (H, HEWITT’S PATENT.) ver dusty p caus as an advertising man Tam bet ; f Suttable for writing in every position 5 glide over fre abler thant, But my syiems i soperior--onperion, OPIUM Habit coredia10 any papers never ecratch or spurt because by it pupils are guaranteed personal instruc: to 20 dare. No pay till cured. jade ie 1e finest studying the reqi its of each pupil; because that Dept. 12, Lebanon, 4 pens are more duraNe, and are ahead of all others papil is taught as if he, of she, were the only one I had. pobeshtote ROL Nn de Gind See | RNY LINDENMEYR 2 SONS “s ae z fations. Nor do 1 in 4 : sos eating, by this announcement to enroll just thirty | p> A PER WAREHOUSE Buy an assorted tample box of 2& fens for 28 ots., and choose pupils to take the place of thove who will graduate the 7 Rese Bre and 4 month. Do you wish to become a pup? “Write to me Non 22. 44, and 28 Wleecker Street > 2 pen to suit your hand. Having found ome, stich to it 1 and we'll tale about the tera, Branch Warebous. 3 Heckman Sueet New York ELMER HELMS, POST FREE FROM Formerly ad-writer for John Wanamaker, ‘You will get more prompt attention and better servic i M; GADIRMDGE’ 6.607, 08 Watist Srarrr, New Yous 11 East 16th Street, Room 113, New York | by mentioning JuocE when answering advertisements. sows comicbooks.com