Judge, 1904-05-07 · page 6 of 20
Judge — May 7, 1904 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor magazines: **"Two Sides to It"** depicts a marital argument where spouses trade accusations about financial excess—he calls her spending reckless; she calls his objections hypocritical. It's straightforward domestic comedy about money disputes. **"Viewpoints"** presents a husband finding his own old love letters amusing rather than romantic, satirizing how relationships change after marriage. **"Walking the Floor"** jokes that a man still takes five-mile walks—but now at night with a crying baby, inverting expectations about married life reducing physical activity. Other brief items mock incompetence (a barber's shaving technique leaves marks resembling a war map) and include puns on names like "Hoscar" and "Oscar." The satire throughout is gentle, domestic, and class-conscious—targeting middle-class anxieties about marriage, money, and modern life. No specific political figures or events appear identifiable.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Oscar car. think you regarded a dollar as being as big as a cart-wheel.” “Huh!” haughtily retorts the huffy husband. “From the way you run up accounts one would think you regarded dol- lars as being fly-wheels.” VIEWPOINTS. Cobwigger —" What are you crying about, my dear?” Mrs. Cobwigger—" 1 have just been reading the old love- letters you sent me before we were married.” Cobwigger—" That's fun- ny. Iwas reading them myself the other day and they made me laugh.” HERE once was a Britain named Who handled the reins on a hose His brother, however, Said, * Blimy, hit’s clever ‘Ow Hoscar gets round with the "oss-car.” WALKING THE FLOOR. | Hewitt— You don't take ! any of those five-mile walks that you used to take before you were married.” | Jewett—" Oh, yes, I do.” | Hewitt—" When do you take them?" Jewett— Nights —with | the baby.” | TIME! THE EFFECT OF MOONLIGHT, PROBABLY. | ALILEO had invented the clock. Snaney bee Realy? Wid, Seclheu pou gue ag It because I am so brilliant?" “Phat's the use?” queried a Florentine. Miss Seasnett—" No; you're light in the upper story.”” | “ Begorra! Oi know enough to shtop wurk whin | the whistle blows.” A MISTAKE OF JUDGMENT. Fearing he had perfected a useless article, the inventor was 64 )Y POOR friend,” said the jail-visitor, do you not now realize } plunged into despair. what a great mistake you made in taking the life of your fel- low-man ?" | “Indeed I do, mum,” muttered the prisoner. “I never stopped to | think about commencement being so near, or I would have realized | that all the flowers would be being saved for the sweet girl graduates.” THE UP-TO-DATE CREATOR. Waggles— There is the great his- | torical novelist and the man who made r him.” { Jaggles—“ His publisher ?” | Waggles —"No; the fellow who | wrote the advertisements.” | IN OLD KENTUCKY. | Thirsty Murphy— Please, colonel, | gimme adime. Honest, I hain’t had a | drink fer t'ree days.” | Colonel Nosepaint (deeply moved) | —"My poo’ man! heah’s the money ; | but don’t go and squandah it fo’ food.” | 7 NO jp i ' ra ISS SPINDLE says she wants a pro- Kina's sucnerany—" Clerical errors? Why, fo, sire, You requested them 16 send more missionaries, ___ tector. Has she ever looked in her / didn't you?” mirror? | TWO SIDES TO IT. | ISH!" petulantly | pouts the pretty | wife. From the way you object to | my bills one would \ SATISFIED. Barser—"‘I trust the shave pleases you, sir?” Custouer—" Delighted! That's the best map of the scene of hostilities in the far east I've seen yet.”” comicbooks.com