Judge, 1904-05-07 · page 3 of 20
Judge — May 7, 1904 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces and illustrations typical of Judge's satirical format. The central sketch titled "WASN'T HE STUPID?" depicts two figures in conversation, with dialogue suggesting a domestic or romantic scenario involving a brother named Tom. Below, "HIS LUCK" shows a man in heavy rain with animals, accompanied by dialogue between "Farmer Jones" and "Parmer Brown" discussing a bull goring someone named Seth Whitfield and a subsequent lawsuit for damages. The remaining content consists of brief comic dialogues on various topics ("The Wisdom of the Serpent," "The Sweet Girl Graduate," "Conquered," etc.) typical of Judge's format—quick jabs at social situations, fashion, and human behavior rather than specific political targets. The illustrations use pen-and-ink sketching characteristic of late 19th/early 20th-century American humor magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BALLADE OF ASPIRA- TION. HEY tell of joys most exquisite, Of joys that last through many a day; But happiness will somehow fit From cvery heart and fly away. But oh, one thing from May to May Would fill my soul with vast de- light. Just think how all my debts I'd pay If T successful books could write! Within my cozy den I'd sit And scribble till the twilight gray Forced me to rest my brain a bit From puzzling plot and bitter fray. For greafer joys I would not pray Than this—for I'm a humble wight. And how I would attend the play If I successful books could write! At evening, when the lamps were Ait, I'd hie ame forth in garb most wy, That I might see if what I'd writ Would make a drama. Who will say T could not the foundation lay Of many fortunes far from slight, And through Fame’s hall pure sue my way, IfT successful books could write? Good people, ye who read my lay, Brief is this song that meets your sight, A greater task were yours to-day If I successful books could write CHARLES MANSON TOWNE, First scientist Has he discovered any new truths 2” Second scientist—“ Oh, no; but he has originated quite a few new errors.” we rgte ee eo Farmer Jones—'* Si Medders's bull gored Seth Whiffletree at ~ WASN'T HE STUPID? “1 can only be a sister to you.” h, Evelyn! is that all?" ‘Ali? Why, you know, my brother Tom often hugs and kisses me for READY FOR STYLE. F OURS was an old-fashioned winter, And this is an old-fashioned spring, We wish that the style would be- gin ter Get new, if there’s any such thing. Eve— But I don't like apples, anyway.” The serpent— That does- n't matter. They are excellent for the complexion.” Eve—« Indeed? perhaps I'll try it Well, ‘THE SWEET GIRL GRADUATE. SHELL soon receive the sheep- skin, And so we may surmise That she will find it useful To pull wool o'er our eyes. CONQUERED. Mrs. Newed—" Heavens, John! take that rubber doll away. The darling goes into fits every time he sees i Mr, Newed—“ Ha, ha! He has discovered that he can neither eat nor break it, eh?” A COSTLY OVERSIGHT. Kirby—" Poor Benedict thought that two'could live as cheaply as one.” Corby — Discovered his mistake, eh ?” Kirby—" Sure! He en- tirely overlooked the bargain- days.” HOW HE MANAGED. not gratify Henrigues— 1 understand you grati Ottinger—« Yes ; it is only her more expensive wishes that I do ‘our wife's slightest wish.” HIS LUCK. * th’ jury give Seth a thousand dollars.”* Farmer Brown—" Wa-al, thet certainly wuz bull-head luck. comicbooks.com