Judge — May 7, 1904 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

INNOVATIONS TWO-SPEED GEAR AND NEW COASTER BRAKE Greatest Improvements since the coming of the Chainless POPE QUALITY IN EVERY WHEEL POPE MPG. Co, RASTEAN DEFT., MABTTORD, ‘tSolumbia” Tribune” WESTERN DEFT., CHICAGO, ILL. ‘Monarch Impe rRambler * “Crescent * Catalogues free at our 10,000 dealers’ stores, or any 000 Catalogue mailed on receipt of a two-cent stamp Courtship is a story of an unconventional love match, well told and beautifully illus- trated. The small picture above only Suggests the real charm of these il- lustrations. As a bit of readable fic- tion the story is well worth writing for. It is contained in a handsomely bound book of 128 pages, a portion of which is devoted to the attractive mountain and lake resorts along the Lackawanna Railroad. It is a book you will like to see. It may be had by sending 10 cents in postage stamps to T. W. LEE, General Ps senger Agent, Lackawanna Railroad, New York. 0,” said Colonel Stillwell, these new flying-machine ‘devices, however in- teresting in theory, will never be of prac- tical use.” “Why not?” “ How is a man going to think of words like aérodrome and tetrahedral kite when he wants to get home from the club after | midnight ?- What civilization will con-| tinue to demand is something simple and | incisive, like ‘cab."— Washington Star. Fussiman—" 1 want my eggs bo just three minutes, and not a second less. How soon can I have them? I'mina ter—In less than two minutes, sir. Fussiman —" Ml right; along that bring them but don’t let it be longer than Roston Transcript, «Yes, sir; I allus have believed provi- dence does ever'thing fer the best !" * How ‘bout that March hurricane ?” + Split the trees to kindlin’ wood—stove length !" + Well, how ‘bout the airthquake 2” * Swallered the land ten minutes ‘fore the sheriff come to levy on it—praise God!" —Allanta Constitutio: Artaxerxes was asking Cyrus how he knew each soldier in every phalanx by name. “Some day,” said the boy orator of the Zgispotami, I expect to run for alder- man. Seeing the folly of his question, Artax- erxes was hushed.— Chicago Journal. Brown —*Don't get gay, or I'll be forced to pound a little sense into your head.” Green—" Huh! It would take a dozen men like you to pound any sense into my head."— Chicago Daily News. “A man kind o' loses my sympathy,” said Uncle Eben, “when he puts in his time abusin’ de ‘trusts ‘stead o’ readin’ de * help-wanted ' column."— Washington Her face would stop a clock, they said ; But though it’s seen afar, No face of which we've ever read Has ever stopped a ¢ —New York Sun Od by Pies Chaua Trenhers very where’ “ That fellow yonder "—— « What of him 2?” Just rich enough to be miserable. But ‘the fellow standing near him is" "+ What?” % Just poor enough to be resigned !"— Atlanta Constitution, “ There are some men,” said the pessi- mist, “whom good fortune seems to fol- low always.” “I think you are wrong,” replied the optimist. “If you were to examine into the matter you'd find it invariably meets them,."—Philadelphia Public Ledger. PRAM FRAN Hag 6 IN GOOD TRIM. Crrrwan—" So you are going to planta garden again this year. vegetables last year a success?" Were your ‘Susureanrre—" Great! Why, my neighbor's hens took first prizes at all the poultry-shows, and they ate practically nothing but my vegetables.”* CAVES OF CALIFORNIA California has numerous natural Bridges. caves. ete., of no litte tater, ‘The Mam: of Cala- or Cave: the Crys tal Palace Cave. contafning a comer ipean apartments, such as the Tieidal Chamber, the Cs ce Room, and the wonderful Me jal The pleasantest, shortest and quickest rout UNION PACIFIC SOUTHERN PACIFIC FASTEST Time SMOOTHEST TRACK E. L. LOMAX,G.P.&T.A. UNION PACIFIC I see our delegation is to go For the land Won't anybody teach the poor t read an’ write an’ cipher ?"—New Dirk | Sun. “Do you shave yourself, sir 2” “ None of your business.” “I was only going to say, sir, that it’s |done as well as any professional could do it That netted him an extra tip.— Cleve. tand Plain Dealer. Some Startling Facts About That Twentieth Century Pro- fession— Advertising. Big Salaries Paid—Bright Prospects for Beginners. = A billion a year! ‘That sum, The New York Timer [tells us, is spent in this country for advertising. Toe business has had a ms remarkable growth d ing the past. ten yea One hundred thous. men and women are sow onan in directing the expenditure of that vast Sum. ‘There's a fast Rrowing need for people Qualified to do thin work well. Many are now Waking up to the Fact thatit’sa very remunera- tive and uncrowded pro fession. Next fall and winter 1 invite my pupils to ask uestions with the assurance that they will be clearly answered. there will surely be any number of good positions seeking competent ad writers, Begin now and I'll have you ready lor ove of them, ‘ow, remember the demand fx not for those who can string together a few high-sourding words, and who have but'a smattering of types. The market i full of thatkind. But storeLcepery and manuiacturers every> where are seeking really well-inlormed men and women {o prepare and place their busines-bringing publicty— I-trained men and women wiso koow how the s Gin be mest proftabty handled.” In short, for tne Led of advertising people | Just a moment! Is that only same character as that you've read perhaps ma before? ‘Then let the records prove the truth statement by the suce p iy made, “And. this This schoot z le brag—talk of the my 5 : resting and important Never Lost a Student because of dissatisfaction with its system of instruction It has enrolled many who have experimented with her ‘That's not because as an advertising man Tam bet ter than all others: requirements of each pupil ; because or she, were the only one I | Fe, by my’ methods T can’t teach as 187 ‘some institutions. Nor do I intend to try. y this announcement to enroll just thicty he place of those who will graduate (is sth. Do you wish to become a pupil? “Write to 2¢ ind we'll talk about the terms. ELMER HELMS, Formerly ad-vwriter for John Wanamaker, 11 East 16th Street, Room 115, New Yo He's built in an awfully peculiar way, isn’t he 2” “ Yes; the only thing he can buy re: made is an umbrella." — Philadelp/: | Ledger. comicbooks.com Jin cat na no or Ar eff yor ifi — ° ‘ ! : ‘ ‘ '