Judge — May 7, 1904 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

INNOVATIONS TWO-SPEED GEAR AND NEW COASTER BRAKE Greatest Improvements since the coming of the Chainless POPE QUALITY IN EVERY WHEEL POPE MPG. CO, EASTERN DEYT., HARTFORD, CONN. SCotumbia “Cleveland” ‘Tribune * “Crawford WEETEAN DEFT., CHICAGO, tht. Rambler * Monarch” “Crescent* Imperial” Catalogues free at our 10,000 dealers” stores, or any (one Catalogue mailed on recelpt of a two-cent stamp Chance Courtship is a story of an unconventional love match, well told and beautifully illus trated. The small picture above only suggests the real charm of these il- lustrations. As a bit of readable fic- tion the story is well worth writing for. It is contained in a handsomely bound book of 128 pages, a portion of which is devoted to the attractive mountain and lake resorts along the Lackawanna Railroad. It is a book you will like to see. It may be had by sending 10 cents in postage stamps to T. W. LEE, General Pas- senger Agent, Lackawanna Railroad, New York. No,” said Colonel Stillwell, “these new flying-machine devices, however in- teresting in theory, will never be of prac- tical use.” Why not 2” “ How is a man going to think of words like atrodrome and tetrahedral kite when he wants to get home from the club after midnight? What civilization will con- tinue to demand is something simple and incisive, like ‘ cab.’ "— Washington Star. Fussiman—"1 want my eggs boiled just three minutes, and not a second less. How soon can I I'm ina hur Waiter— In less than two minutes, sir, Fussiman —“ AM right; bring them along; but don’t let it be longer than that."—Boston Transcript. lave them ? “Yes, sir; I allus have believed provi- dence does everthing fer the be: How ‘bout that March Ramee ag “Split the trees to kindlin’ wood—stove length !" « Well, how ‘bout the airthquake 2?” “ Swallered the land ten minutes ‘fore the sheriff come to levy on it—praise God!” —Altlanta Constitution, Artaxerxes was asking Cyrus how he knew each soldier in every phalanx by name. « Some day,” said the boy orator of the spotami, "I expect to run for alder- man. Seeing the folly of his question, Artax- erxes was hushed.— Chicago Fournal. Brown —“ Don't get gay, or I'll be forced to pound a little sense into your head.” Green—“ Huh! It would take a dozen men like you to pound any sense into my “A man kind o' loses my sympathy,’ said Uncle Eben, “when he puts in time abusin’ de ‘trusts ‘stead o’ readin’ de + help-wanted ' column."— Washington Star. Her face would stop a clock, they said ; But though it’s seen afar, No face of which we've ever read Has ever stopped a car. —New York Sun. 40 Sizes, 102. to 0e. each A.SANTAELLA & CO. Makers, TAMPA, Fla. Bold by First Class Dealers Everywhere. “That fellow yonder "— “ What of him ?” “Just rich enough to be miserable. But the fellow standing near him is” “ What 2” * Just poor enough to be resigned !"— Atlanta Constitution. “There are some men,” said the pessi- mist, “ whom good fortune seems to fol- low always.” “I think you are wrong,” replied the optimist. “If you were to examine into the matter you'd find it invariably meets head."—Chicago Daily News. them."—Philadelphia Public Ledger. TRAM OL TRAN Heh IN GOOD TRIM. Crrvuan—"* So you are going to plant a garden again this year. Were your vegetables last year a success ?"" Susursanrre—"* Great! Why. my neighbor's hens took first ptizes at all the poultry-shows, and they ate practically nothing but my vegetables."" CAVES OF CALIFORNIA California has numerous natural Bridges. caves. etc., of no litte later. ‘The Mammoth Cave of Cala- Seras: the Alabaster Caver the Crys: tal Palace Cave, containing a number of subterranean apartments, such as jridal Chamber, the Crystal Pal- wee Room, and the wonderful Music ‘The pleasantest, shortest and to these scenes is UNION ‘PACIFIC SOUTHERN PACIFIC FASTEST TIME SHORTEST LINE SMOOTHEST TRACK E. L LOMAX,G.P.&T.A. UNION PACIFIC Omaha, Neb. uickest route Uncle Si- uninstructed. Aunt Maria— For the land sakes! Won't anybody teach the poor things to read an’ write an’ cipher ?"—New York Sun, I see our delegation is to go “Do you shave yourself, “ None of your business.” “Twas only going to say, sir, that it's ir 2” |done as well as any professional could do it.” That netted him an extra tip.—Cleve- land Plain Dealer, Some Startling Facts About That Twentieth Century Pro- fession — Advertising. Big Salaries Paid—Bright Prospects for Beginners A billion a year! That sum, The New Vork Timer tells us, is speat in this country for advertising. The ‘business has hada most remarkable growth dur- ing the past ten years. Ove hundred thowsand engaged in directing the ox ire of that vast Sum, There's a fast + growing need for people qualified to do this work well. Many are now Waking up to the Fact , thatit'sa very remunera- tive and uncrowded prom 1 invite my pupils to ask westions with the assurance Next fall and winter that they” wil "be clearly there will sorely be any ywered. number of good postions seeking competent ad- writers, Begin now and I'll have you ready for one of them. Now, remember the demanc not for those who can sing together a lew higieaoanding words, and who ave bute uatering of typen The market fll of that kind. keepers and manulacturers every were are wecking rally well-loved ten and women trel'Pained med and women whe know hot te sabect Can be most proftably handied.” In shore, for the kind of advertising Feople {am geaduating. Suse a moment | Ls that only idle brag—talk of the same character as that you've Tead perlapa many times ictore? ‘Then let the records prove the truth of that statement by the successes my graduates have uniform: ipvimade, ‘And the interenting and. important fact: is school Never Lost a Student | because of dissatisfaction with its system of instruction, Whas enrolled many twho have experimented with ether That's not because as an advertising man Tam bet- ter than all others—there are doubtless are abler than 1. Ds because by it pu tion; because’ Tam comcientiously and constantly a the requirements of each ppl: because that por he, of she, were the only one I had. my methods T can’t teach as many peas Ss some hnstitutions, Nor do T intend to try. am seeking by this announcement to enroll just thirty pupils to take the place of those who will graduate this month. Do you wish to become a pupil? Write to me and we'll talk about the terms. ELMER HELMS, Formerly ad-writer for John Wanamaker, 11 East 16th Street, Room 115, New York “ He's built in an awfully peculiar way, isn't he 2” “ Yes; the only thing he can buy ready- made is an umbrella." — Philadelphia Ledger. comicbooks.com