Judge — May 7, 1904 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“We'll go to the seashore this sum- mer,” said Meekley. “Fora long time we couldn't decide between the mountains and the seashore.” “ Who finally decided. the matter ?” did. I said, * We'll go to the moun- tains,’ and immediately my wife closed her jaws and went out to select materials for a bathing-suit."—Philadelphia Press. Sohmer & Co., the great Piano firm, can point with pride’ to the magnificent indorse- ment their instruments have received at the hands of the best native and foreign musical artists. “Did you attend the Williston obse- quies ?” asked Mrs. Oldcastle. “Gracious! no,” replied her hostess. “Have they had some? Why, me and Josiah was at the funeral of their grand- mother only last week."— Chicago Record- Herald. “Do the automobilists give you much trouble ?" asked the visitor. “Not now,” replied the farmer, care- lessly ; “no. since we've learned that a charge of buckshot will bust a tire."— Chicago Post. Without a tremor Mrs. Highmore pro- ceeded leisurely to open the black-bor- dered letter. «If there were any bad news,” she said, “it would have come by telegraph. It must be that something has happened to Mr. Highmore’s rich uncle.” — Chicago Tribune. To flatter a woman tell her she is beau- tiful ; to flatter a man tell him he is work- | ing too hard.—Philadelphia Record, “You may become bald, but Jdness will not become you.’” Systematic Shampooing with Packers Tar Soap : Pure as the Pines means healthy hair and scalp and prevents premature baldness “ How old would you say she was ?” * Well, let’s see. When we were in the high school together she used to snub me because I was a kid. Now I'm thirty- seven, and—um-m-m—well, I should say she was about twenty-eight by this time.” —Town and Country. Mrs. Subbubs—«1 think our new girl will turn out all right. Her name is So- phronia, you know. Mr. Subbubs—" Well?” irs. Subbubs— Well, we never had a girl named Sophronia before."—Philadel- phia Press. “Pa, what makes factory whistles blow so early in the morning ?" «The engineer wants to get even with everybody who doesn't have to go to work as soon as he docs."—Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. SOAKED IN COFFEE UNTIL TOO STIFF TO BEND OVER. “ When I drank coffee I often had sick headaches, nervousness and _biliousness much of the time, but about two years ago I went to visit a friend and got in the habit of drinking Postum. “T have never touched coffee since, and the result has been that I have been en- tirely cured of all my stomach and nerv- ous trouble. “ My mother was just the same way. Weall drink Postum now, and have never had any other coffee in the house for two years, and we are all well. «A neighbor of mine, a great coffee- drinker, was troubled with pains in her side for years and was an invalid, She was not able to do her work,.and could not even mend clothes or do anything at all where she would have to bend for- ward, If she tried to do a little hard work she would get such pains that she would have to lie down for the rest of the | day. I persuaded her at last to stop drink- ing coffee and try Postum Food Coffee, and she did so, and she has used Postum ever since. The result has been that she can now do her work, can sit for a whole day and mend, and can sew on the ma- chine, and she never feels the least bit of pain in her side—in fact, she has got well, and it shows coffee was the cause of the whole trouble. “T could also tell you about several other neighbors who have been cured by quitting coffee and using Postum in its place.” Name given by Postum Co., Bat- tle Creek, Michigan. Look in each packaye for the famous ‘The Packer Mfg. Co., New York. : STRENGTH OF ' GIBRALTAR little book, * The Road to Wellville.” «Do you suppose grafting will ever be stopped 2" “IT don't know,” answered Senator Sorghum. «Somehow we don’t get start- ed to investigating a graft until it is a played-out proposition. And in the mean- time something else has developed. We are always on the trail, but we can’t catch up."—Washington Star. A trial of two generations and more has been the test that proves Abbott's Angostura Bitters to be the best tonic for family use. “Why do they call it the palm-room 2” asked the bride as they entered the hotel dining-room, ‘The palms are very few and only varnished ones. “The waiters, the waiters, my dear. They all have palms, and they must be sil- vered by the guests."— Cleveland (Ohio) Leader, “ This tusk,” said the Jersey commuter, “I dug up in my garden, It's all of four feet long. Remarkable, isn’t it ?” “Yes. It's very probably the bill of a prehistoric mosquito.” — Philadelphia Ledger. Amy— My brother, the explorer, was | telling me that in some parts of Africa you can buy a wife for a few old sardine- cans and beads. Mr. Crustymugg—« Well, a good wife's worth that."—Boston Globe. It stays the same inside. Morgiana had just caught the forty thieves. “ You will observe,” she said, pointing to the jars, “I have kept all the lids on.” Hereupon she wept to think her sex prevented her from becoming police-com- missioner.—New York Sun, Foote Lighte—“ Do you think there is anything binding about stage weddings ?” ‘Sue Brette—* There must be; [have a friend who is getting alimony from four husbands !"— Yonkers Statesman, Customer—"T've found out that the gallon of whiskey sold me is doctored. Dealer —"Um—well, you said you wanted it for medicinal use."—Vew York Weekly. “Cheer up, old man—the worst is ahead of you. « Ef dat's de case,” was the reply, * will you please, suh, kick me ‘way back yan- der ?"—Adlanta Constitution, HAVANA CIGARS AE THE pearecrion a 164” THE I oeTROIT COMPANY SOLD BY PROGRESSIVE CIGAR DEALERS EVERYWHERE YOUR TOWN, WRITE US| ‘We'll send you beautiful booklet FREE on request Address Dept.“ ¥,"" The Independence Co., Detrelt, Meh. THE “SOHMER”? HEADS THE LIST OF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS SOHMER PIANOS _ Sohmer Building, Sth Ave., cor 22d St, Diamonds Credit Y—e KARAT ane versct stone ge $7.00 DOWN — $4.00 PER MONTH. We have 1962 }4 Kt. stones, bought before the reegmtadvance in precy "Welt sel dem asiong Ss they last at $44, 09 credit, ring mounting, ie stoded Let us send you one for inspection, If it mecis with your approval, pay Sapecy agent frco a send . ince {0 us nine ‘equal monthly payments. Gur new Spring Cotalogus No: Ee eat ieee every: oly, antenroomn MEssten t Josera s co Hargest Diam: Tredlt Mere’ 148 (E 31) State The Great Passenger Line of America—NEW YORK CENTRAL. comicbooks.com