Judge, 1904-04-16 · page 5 of 16
Judge — April 16, 1904 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical items typical of early 20th-century humor: **"Daybreak"**: A joke mocking a foreign ruler (the "dey of Goolochistan"—likely referencing Ottoman Turkish officials) who loses all his money at poker, then cannot continue playing. The satire targets both the foreigner's naïveté about American games and the inevitability of losing money gambling. **Panama Canal aside**: A brief joke suggesting the canal's construction delays could be solved by digging it elsewhere—absurdist satire on engineering/political incompetence. **Other items**: Theater and show-business gossip ("Judge's Favorites," "Dreadful," "Unprotected") typical of the era, plus dialect-heavy ethnic humor ("A Philosopher") and domestic comedy ("A Cool Reply"). The page reflects early 1900s Judge content: foreign mockery, gambling criticism, theater chitchat, and broad comedy with heavy reliance on racial/ethnic caricature—offensive by modern standards but standard for contemporary American satirical magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
DEYBREAK. HE dey of Goolochistan was endeavoring to acquire knowl- edge of the great American game of poker. Assiduous student that he was, he seemed unable to as- similate the salient features. At last he threw down his cards, pushed back his chair, and said he could not play any longer. «Why not 2” asked one of his teachers, The dey simply waved his hand before him, indicating the expanse of clear table where a few hours before he had placed his money. Then the teacher began to see light. The significance of the gesture dawned upon him. . = “ The dey is broke,” he mused, in one sense ungrammatically, but, withal, succinctly. A SHOW-G.RL. F (ciass- ines) MOST EXPENSIVELY DRESSED BABY EXmigiT Nt 7540 THAT Panama canal could only be dug elsewhere and shipped where it is needed its construction would not be delayed. ter! JUDGE'S FAVORITES. ANNA LAUGHLIN IN THE “* WIZARD oF oz." ‘When we look upon your picture We instanter gladly plank Down the shekels most serenely That the tickets quickly yank. And when we observe your beauty Ard your acting do we sing, With apologies to Hamlet, ‘This fair player's just the thing. WHOLESALE MINING. $4 GOLD is often found in the gizzards of birds shot in the Klondike,” observed the man who reads the inter- esting notes in the papers. if I were seeking gold I believe I would rather trainssome of those birds than hire miners.” “Why ?" * Because the miner gets the gold in quartz, but the bird finds it by pecks.” said the other man; ‘and ‘LEE proposed by letter, then ?” “Yes; and such a beautiful let- She thought he must have taken a correspondence course in love-making.” DREADFUL! Ricarpo—** Some one stole the star ballet-girl’s wrist-bag, and it caused a dreadful commotion.’ Evowaroo—"* How so?” Ricarvo— Why, it contained her costume!"* UNPROTECTED. HE. stage-manager catches one of the actors smoking behind the scenes. “Here! you can't smoke on the stage,” he says. “What's the odds? The scenery is fire-proof. * But you're not As the actor discovered when he got his two-weeks’ notice. DIFFERENT MATTER. sPuoucH the under dog at- tracts us, All our sympathy it knocks When we find the smallest berrics In the bottom of the box. A PHILOSOPHER. Elder Dippem — Brud- der Smiff, what fo’ yo’ allus a-singin’ 2” Brother Smith—“Ter A “COOL” REPLY. Pa (from dining-room)—"'Is it too ‘close’ in there for you and the young man, Ethel?" keep;mah; mind fam (dwellin’ ErneL—" No, pa: not for comfort." on mah thoughts. comicbooks.com