Judge — April 9, 1904 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT THe Pangea erpine. Fi Westen UNITED STATES AND CANADA copy, one year, of copy, six montis, ‘One copy tor thirteen we FORFIGN SUPSCRIPTIONS—To al Fomor nas Sates-aGKnTs—/aternational News Company, Bream's building, The contents of FUDGE are protected by conyright in both the Uni CONTRIBUTORS must inclose a stamoed and self-addvessed entvelore DRA‘VINGS and all wutions sent to the Art Det descriptive letterpress should in ébery instance be wr insure safe and promot return of material not ac iment shi LD UNCLE DAVID is lying low, well saturated with silence and mys- tery. Thus does he play political "possum and saw wood at the same time. ‘HE PRESIDENTIAL BOOMS that are still intact and unbusted are now being trotted out, like so many summer-hotel sea-serpents, for the several coats of kalsomine and the general overhauling and bracing up necessary to render them in every way fit for campaign purposes. LTHOUGH Mr. Roosevelt is looked at from many points of view by people of perfect and imperfect vision, it must be admitted that, after all, there are but two Roosevelts—the real Roosevelt, as set forth by the historian who shows him in the right light and paints him in the true and fast colors which are his, and the cheap, tawdry, bronco-bucking, pistol- popping Roosevelt, as painted by the demagogues who have the impudence to call themselves Americans. In looking upon these two pictures the peo- ple have no difficulty in knowing ata glance which is the real Roosevelt and which is the cheap circus ier, redolent of sawdust, that the dema- gogues would have us believe him. The grafting pot-house politician, if it be not a tautological term, does not like Roosevelt, for very good and sufficient reasons. It is very natural that the pot-house politician should not overflow with love for the president, from whom he can gain neither sym- pathy nor support of any kind. In other words, the president, being, as he is, honest to the core, refuses to be cajoled and manipulated by these suave crooks who look upon public office as a public graft, and are conse- quently beside themselves with dismay and despair at being thwarted in their devices and designs, and accordingly left out in the cold which is so justly theirs. And for this reason they are mentally chafed and at the boiling-point, while their impotent fury knows no bounds. And to make themselves happy and gather unto themselves a crumb of comfort, they seek to make the president and his methods ridiculous in the eyes of the people by showing him, for instance, in the act of caracol ing merrily a snorting bronco, lassoing pinos, stampeding the trusts, and perforating the atmos- phere with bullets. It is need- less to say that this picture of the president is but a dissolv: ing view, which, when it has vanished, will give place to the Roosevelt as he is known by the people, who still re- member him as the hero of San Juan. a HE bumble-bee Cavorts care free Around the blooming Lilac-tree; Yet while the bard Outleaps the pard, And turns out sonnets By the yard, We wildly wheeze And sniff and sneeze And shed our under- Togs and freeze Though rapture fills Our souls with thrills That laugh at pikra, Squills and pills, And fancy freights With joy our pates, We grind our Iawn-mow- Er and skates. Mr. Stone—" Yes, Apvaxrisisc STEPPING- Lovery Mary—"* What fine boys you have, Mr. Stone! And each a step above the other."” I call them my Stone steps.”” WEEKLY UE AND Nixereestit Stiner. New Yorn. oO 1343 Hartford Fusiting, Chicage, Ut TERMS TO SUPSCRIGERS iw apvance $5.00 nt of this ss The accompanying toke or ull amount of postage is also required, to IF THE NUMBER of apparently level-headed men who fancy they are called to head the Democratic ti could but be bunched they would make the authors of ‘* Beautiful Snow " look like a pretty small crowd. Now the breezes sweetly shake with the music of the rake, and the rooster pecks and picks while the moist earth he upkicks. On the fence the thomas cat sings his lively rat-tat-tat, and the bluebird and the jay execute the jocund lay that informs us on the fly that the happy moon is nigh when the white baseball will zip and the daisy star down-clip. Now y tar-ball we whack down upon the seal-skin sacque; and we shout in boundless glee, “Ha, ha, ha!’? and ‘* He, he, he!” as the strawberry a-dream b serenely in the cream. And we don sweet Fancy’s garb of fresh rhubarb on the damask blithely smiles, and our vision sguiles that we shout “Hip, hip, hooray! Spring is here, and here to E POLITICAL kie-flying season is about here, and the various can- for public favor are now on the ground with the toys of their ambition, looking for the breeze that stimulates to action and uplifts. Mr. Bryan, the acknowledged master of windcraft, is on deck feeling the atmos- phere and awaiting the vagrant puff of air with the enthusiastic anxiety of ayachtsman. Mr. Cleveland, fresh from the hands of the taxidermist and strongly redolent of camphor, stands, string in hand, and wooes the hya- cinthine zephyr, into whose lively wings he would boost his paper bird. Just how high or how long th of these political two-spots will fly is pretty difficult to say at this writing. They may penetrate the clouds, or they n ne to grief in trees and telegraph-wires along the way. And the tails may be too heavy for the kites, or the kites may be too heavy for the tails, for the balancing of the kite and the tail is a nice art. Looked at from any point of view, it will be a most interestingjexperiment in agronaut- ics, as well as one that should be appreciated alike by high-priest and Ia man. It would be very funny however, to see the kite of the free-silver juggler lift him off the ground; but no such gro- tesque feat can be looked for in the case of the three-hun- dred-pound duck - hunting champion, who should be quite able to hold down a dynamite explosion alone and without assistance. These kite-flyers are simply two- spots trying to be aces, and no matter how long they may pose and cut up the queer an- tics peculiar to them, they will still be regarded as two-spots and as nothing else. Their desire to run for the presi- dency they cannot help, for the very good reason that it is constitutional with them. Therefore this flying of their kites should not disturb the equanimity of any well-bal- anced mind. It is an inno- cent amusement, and not por- tentous of evil. It may serve to put an cighteen-karat gild- ing upon their fancies, and cause their digestions to im- Prove to such an extent that they will astonish the grand- stand by skipping the skipful skipp eculiar to of the lamb- kin on the twinkling green. STONES. comicbooks.com