Judge — March 26, 1904 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TWICE AS GOOD. *sQECOND thoughts,” stated the philosophical one, “are al- ways best.” ‘The unphilosophical one looked into the fire for a while. “ But,” she mused, forethoughts ought to beat them a hundred per cent.” ACUTE HEARING. IIS said that when you lose one sense ‘The others sharper grow ; And Cupid urnishes a case Where it is plainly For we have often noticed it, In every rank and walk, Although the little god is blind He hears the money talk. MCLANDBURGH WILSON, IN TOKIO. First Jap—« Mt strikes me that the bear is an inappropriate emblem for Russia.” Second Jap—" Why ?" JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MARGUERITE SYLVA. When you appear upon the scene the mo- ments swiftly wing: And though the winter is on deck, you make us think it's spring First Jap—" Well, considering the way they've been handling their boats I think they ought to substitute the lobster.” “ Has your son HF NATURE'S SUBSTITUTE. “Lain't got no black mask to wear to de ball ter-night, but by powderin’ de rest ob mah face wid flour I gits de same effect."" FRILLS. finished his theological studies ?” Par re trae de de razor wey that fond Mrs. Crabshaw—* Oh, yes; but in order to get a fashionable call he finds it necessary to take a post-graduate course in golf.” And so we know your art so rare the crit- ic’s art defies, And that your dainty crescent feet, that twinkle In our eyes. Were never, never, never made to walk the railroad ties. NOTHING BAGGED YET. Gadsby— That fellow Noscads is a regular fortune-hunter Raynor—" Well, he’s a mighty poor shot.” LIQUID SUNSHINE. * Liquid Sanshine” cocktails were served to guests at the 4 of the electrical association.—Daily paper.) HEN gracefully the proud mixologist Raises the goblet and injects a dash Of radium, and Kentucky's bravest mash Is poured thereon—the hue is amethyst. With deft manipulation of the wrist ‘The alchemist, with movement almost rash, Shakes up the fiery fluid, and lo! a flash Of golden sunshine dissipates the mist. It is a draught of Lethe drowning care; Its magic spell ‘twere useless to describe— You're taking myriad drinks at myriad bars. The skeptics coldly claim it is hot air,” But all they've got to do is just imbibe A liquid-sunshine cocktail—and see stars. RUGRNE GRARY, PITIABLE TACT. Conensni, si key, ve got to get ridt ohf dot new clerk ohf ours—he ain’dt no got." Conenski, jx.—" Vhy not?” Conensni, sr.—* He yust allowed a German emigrant gustomer to get oud ohf der shtore midout even shticking him on a Rhine shtone."* A MAGICAL AUXILIARY. Puorocrarter—" How in the world am I going to make these stoical Indians look pleasant? Ah, an idea!” Hrr-me-j0c (the interpreter) “Waugh, braves! ‘ Firewater ‘!"” comicbooks.com