Judge, 1904-02-27 · page 2 of 16
Judge — February 27, 1904 — page 2: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct political articles. The first discusses China's inability to derive pleasure from exchanging hostilities with Russia, criticizing China's vision as clouded by ancient prejudices. The second section, introduced by "WHEN THE DEMOCRACY selected the champion of free silver," appears to critique the Democratic Party's selection of a free silver advocate as their champion—likely referencing William Jennings Bryan's 1896 presidential campaign. The accompanying illustration titled "HOW HE LEARNED" depicts a skating scene with the caption: "She—'Who taught you how to skate?' He—'I taught myself from a school of correspondence, by mail.'" This is a joke about self-teaching via mail correspondence courses, mocking the impracticality of learning physical skills remotely. The satire targets both political incompetence and the era's proliferation of mail-order education schemes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PUBLISHED WEEKLY Ar Tue Parxxn BUILDING, Fourtm AVENUE AND NINETEENTH StRKET, New Youre. Wasreen Apvextisinc Ornice—1313 Hartford Building, Chicago, lt. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS: UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or s2 numbers = : One copy, siz wonths, or a6 nambers. - One copy, for thirteen weeks Including the Cnriststas Junce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $5.00 a year. Eoxornan satns-acnts—/nternational News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, F.C, London : Brentano's, Avenue del’ Opera, Par Starbach’s News Exchange, 3 The contents of JUDGE are protected by copyright tn both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted, CONTRIBUTORS must inctose a stamped and self-addressed ertoelope with all manuscripts, otherwise return of the Latter when found unvailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and address “written plainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying joke or descriptive letter-press should in édery instance be written upon its indtoldual picture, and NOT upon a separate sltp of paper. Inclosure of stamps to the fall amount of postage (s also required, 10 insure safe and prompt return of material not accepted. AT THE PRESENT TIME China is unable to derive much pleasure from looking upon the exchange of hostilities which marks the existing relations between Japan and Russia. China cannot coolly direct her vision upon these exchanges and sarcastically characterize them as social ameni- ties, for the reason that she is—to indulge in playful paradox—very much in the conflict herself, while not in it at all. She is not in the thick or the thin of the fight, either for plain, every-day glory, or for the shekels of the realm that decorate the rose-embroidered damask, while they make the hyacinthine zephyr of the dining-room redolent of house-rat a la Newburg. She is in the fight in which she is not because she cannot help it. While she is neither in nor out of it, yet is she both in and out of it. Hers is truly a peculiarly unenviable position, and it is quite likely that she would like to see the chrysanthemum of Japan translated into the sauerkraut of com- merce, which it so strongly suggests and resembles, and the unsavory Russian bear melted and cast into the predigested breakfast-candles which are to the educated Russian palate fairy music in a concrete form. WHEN THE DEMOCRACY selected the champion of free silver for a leader she fell into bad hands, and no matter what else may be said about her, it must be admitted that she was deserving of a better fate; for when the many qualities are considered that differentiate, and sharply, some of her ancient standard-bearers and this flamboyant gorilla, all people of discernment, without reference to political creed, will cheerfully admit that she got the worst of the bargain. The free-silver gorilla, with his unbroken record of defeats, is still holding his victim in his uncouth and uncanny clutch, and he will never relinquish his grip until such an act will drop her into the sea of oblivion, toward which she has been moving since the day she was first handed over to his tender mercies. The Democracy is as much in need of a new leader as the free-silver gorilla is in need of a new game. He has about exhausted everything he possesses but his jaw ina mad but futile endeavor to force himself upon the people and to keep himself in the public eye. When his jaw shall be exhausted the entire gorilla will be still. This is a condition most devoutly to be wished alike by all Democrats of ordinary discrimination, for they are aware of the fact that the potpourri of the Nebraska blatherskite will be accepted as a too realistic sample of Democratic harmony by all Republican impressionists. Bryanism is a dead issue, and it cannot be restored to the quick of public favor by all the electric arts and appliances known to his political followers. He is side-tracked, and if he should meet his just deserts he would also be side-showed and corralled in a large, picturesque cage of red and gold, where he could spend his time pleasantly in masticating the peanut of public dis- trust and disapproval, only pausing occasionally to scratch his anatomy for the purpose of assisting himself in the difficult process of cerebration. HOW HE LEARNED. *W-ho taught you how to s-skate?"” I ttaught myself from a school of correspondence, by mail."" comicbooks.com