Judge — February 27, 1904 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OBITUARY. hii MARKED DOWN. cloak (From the Wkly Te Trak Nh | | HE marked-down habit ei eee | was strong in her. She Bian Of Jayhawker’s run, Lf } Pere | ia | had been telling her hus- Hs Who baa thee, ' 4 Yy band that her dearest wo- for! Died to-day at one. fc hoee At man friend had made her “ A neighbor's sun 3 . feel so cheap. Shot Gunn ‘ ; “ Like thirty cents?” he queried. “Like twenty-nine,” she replied. With a shot-gun. He leaves one Son. Now every one ‘Asks every one, “+ Shalll we calll this son, i fe A PECULIARITY OF HE This Gunn's son, Y ‘ : ‘ THE SEX. This son of a Gunn, Z A i : i i‘ The heir Gunn?" r - Cae hs Jayson—« Iris strange, ‘7. C. MCCONNELL, ‘ v7 isn’t it?” sensror Jimpson—" Er—what is strange ?” Mrs. Gramercy—* My . Jayson —" Why, that bulldog is always getting the oldest inhabitant is al- into trouble.” ways a man—never a wo- Mrs, Park —“\s that man." the reason he has such a lovely lot of wrinkles ?” HOW IT HAPPENED. A QUANDARY. : : +S SPEEDSMASH'S Se HIS paper speaks of automobile saved his Mrs. Fidgetts as the : life the other day?" said anti-vice president,” ob- Jones. 1 Mr. Wunder, Ney Geshe “Yes; it ran served: Mr. sy UNCEF.. Ctarence WiLLyBoy—'* I have come to consult you in regard to breaking my uncle's ; over "a “Yes?” said Mrs.Wun- will." cliff into the bay with him. der. “I know her. She Bit Coney (lawyer)—"* How much did he leave ?"* Just as it jumped a wheel Ctarence Wittysor—"' Five thousand dollars."* belongs to the anti-vice so- Bint Conxey—"‘Break a five-thousand-dollar will? ‘W'y, say, young feller! five thou- CMe off, and Speedsmash’s “ ciety.” sand dollars wouldn't last long enough to make a dent in it.”” head was driven through “Well, does it’ mean the spokes. When he came that she is the president or the vice-president, or that she ison the to the surface he had a pneumatic life-preserver around his neck, and anti ticket for the vice-presidency ?” floated to shore without a bit of trouble.” : ma THE SONG OF THE CHAUFFEUR. — (Sempre con gasoline. Molto veloce.} T CLOUDLESS morn, with ceaseless horn, Remorsetess pace, this goal-less race, In helpless wrath my heartless path a My horseless reckless speeds. But lawless on I steer. With speechless folk is filled. If thoughtless men stand careless then A hapless cow is legless now A guileless child—its name is filed qi Their wives wear widow's weeds. ‘And spinneth on her ear. ‘Among thoee ‘also spilled.” A luckless goat, a hairless shoat, With toneless toot and fearless scoot Run senseless, tactless, by. I drive the heartless car. ‘The pig is pork ; the wingless goat There's no redress, methinks—unless T make a butter fly. Te be the gates ajar. . WYN STANLEY, ' AN AWFULLY SAD CASE. ton “That walking delegate sacrificed his health In the eause of labor.” = "Yes. He always rode, never walked, drank nothing but champagne, smoked forty-cent cigars, and soon got an incurable dyspepsia.” | comicbooks.com