Judge, 1904-02-20 · page 7 of 16
Judge — February 20, 1904 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces from early 20th-century America: **"Wanted Something New"**: A poet receives rejection of his work "The Snow Falls Down" with an editor's suggestion to try "The Snow Falls Up"—mocking literary pretension and absurdist trends. **"Not Appropriate During Leap Year"**: A joke about a woman proposing to a man during leap year (when traditional gender roles were humorously inverted), suggesting she's had to wait four years for the chance—satirizing both gender expectations and leap-year customs. **"The Reform Devil"**: A dialect poem portraying the Devil modernizing his image, trading pitchfork for fan and adopting respectability—mocking superficial social reform and moral hypocrisy dressed in fashionable clothing. **"Biological Statistic" and "Another Church Robbery"**: Short humorous pieces about overpriced church suppers and absurd dialogue. **"A Parallel Case"**: Satirizes inflation/devaluation, comparing a sofa pillow's price reduction to a man's shrinking finances. The overall tone reflects Judge's satirical approach to American social pretense, gender relations, and commercialism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WANTED SOMETHING NEW. H, THE poct sat with a pensive frown In the shadows drear and dim, His poem entitled, «The snow falls down,” Had just been returned to him. ‘Twas not the familiar word «declined ” ‘That had overflowed his cup. But the “ed had written and underlined, “Try one on The snow falls up." NOT APPROPRIATE DURING LEAP-YEAR. Cholly—" Well, Madge proposed to me last night.” Reggy — Jove! Did you say + This is | so sudden’ ?* Cholly— Hardly—when the poor girl has had to wait four years before she could do it! BIOLOGICAL STATISTIC. ‘ I, HOW hot is the Hottentot?” “Well, now, I'll tell you truly. Meds é ene paetaee ieneve 1k. AuTosaLa—'' Can't you stop the thing ‘The Hottentot tesnever.bot Cuaurreur—* No; impossible." So long as he's a coolic: Mr. Avrooatn—" Then, for heaven's sakel hit something cheap.”* ‘THE REFORM DEBIL. roarin’ lion, m ticetacs long ago When he tuck on mo" power. He done cut off dat fo'ked tail An’ flung dem hoofs aside When he diskivered dat de world War runnin’ open wide. He quit de pitch-fo'k fo" de fan— He smile so bery nice Yo' tink dey’s nuffin’ down below “Cept skatin’ on de ice. De debil sol” his coal-mf Vacation fo! to tak storage plants am boomin’ now Down by de brimstone lake A PARALLEL CASE. Miss Peachblow (at the church- fair) —" Oh, Mr. Du snap! buy this sofa-pillow. It has just been reduced from four dollars to seventy-five cents,” ANOTHER CHURCH ROBBERY. Mr, Dusnap (ruefully) — St Meppers— So they charged ye twenty-five cents fer yer supper at the church-fair?"" “Can't do it. [had ten dollars Josn Wiurrterree—" Ya-asi they soaked it to me, b’gosh! Why, all let was some scalloped oysters, an’ stuffed five minutes ago, but now am veal, an’ deviled ham, an’ chicken-salad, an’ pork an’ beans, an’ a leetle piece 0° lemon-pie, an’ some coffee an’ doughnuts 5 eo a an’ pecan-nuts.”” reduced to fifteen cents. HIS ANSWER. WASHINGTON was asked why he had cut down the cherry-tree. “Because,” he replied, “ Andrew Jackson is going to monopolize the hickory.” Thus, with precocious foresight, did he lay the foun- dation of Kis career. THE CAT. LIE cat is a contented beast ; She never worries in the least. T tell you frankly, children, that T'd sorter like to be a cat. Jaggles—"1 hear he dis- charged his press-agent for lying.” Waggles—" Yes; the man began to write the truth about SO IT APPEARED. him.” . mister, your head is upside down!"" comicbooks.com