Judge — February 13, 1904 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT THE PaRKKe BurLpine, Fourtt AVENUE AND PUBLISHED WEEKLY NETKENTH STREET, New Youx. Western Apvextisinc Orrice—S28 Marquette Building, Chicago, Ul. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or senumbers- = ee TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS: $5.00 One copy, six months, or numbers = = eee gD ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks : FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIOD WVKAN SALES-AGENTS—/nternational News Company, Breant's building, Chancery Lane, E. C., London ; Brentano's, Avenue de” Opera, Paris, The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. ee 1235 Including the Crmrststas Jvocs To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 a year. Saarback's News Exchange, Mains, Geran, Infringement of this copyright will be promplly and igorousty prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inclose a stamped and self-addressed erfdelope with all manuscripts, otherivise return of the Latter when found unsrvaitatle cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art insure safe and prompt return of material not accepted. [7 SEEMS paradoxical, to say the least, that the average winter hotel is situated in a region where it is always summer. THE NEW JERSEY mosquitoes have flitted, and are now discoursing their dreamy mandolin fantasies in the misty moonlight that throws the silhouette of the palm on the lawn of the Florida hotel. HEN MR. BRYAN fondly fancies that he is murmuring syllables of fairy gold—or, rather, fairy silver—through the wolian harp of pros- pective triumph, his highly-amused hearers are usually cognizant of the large, refrigerated fact that he is merely discoursing airy political nothings through his great made-to-order hat. eee OF THE MAKING of many clubs there seems to be absolutely no end; and it is beginning to look as if we may ere long actually out-English the English in our clubbishness. There is the rich man’s club and the poor man’s club; the Republican club and the Democratic club; the cooks’ club and the yellow-kid, or Hearst, club. It begins to look as if the world of clubdom may soon have, if it has not already, a plumbers? club, a tramps? club, a grass-cutters’ club, and a janitors’ club. Every woman rejoices in the crowning glory of her clubhood, even as she rejoices in the crowning glory of her hair. If she cannot belong to a Browning club she will belong to.a cooking club, or a mothers? club, or a mothers-in-law club. She will gladly and happily remain out all day at her club, just as her husband will remain out all night at his. Verily, we live in an age of clubs such as the world has never known before. After a while men will be known by the number of clubs to which they belong, more than by the company they keep. And as for women, we may shortly see in the obituary notice of any partment should have the sender's fall name and address ‘written plainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying Joke or descriptive letter-press should in ébery instance be written upon its indtoidual picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. Inclosure of stamps to the full amount of postage {3 also required, 10 of them who through her prominence is so honored, that she was a mem- ber of the Browning, the cooking and the needlework clubs. ALTHOUGH the Democratic donkey is a most picturesque animal, re- garded anatomically, it may be said without fear of contradiction that his anatomy, undulating as it does with all sorts of lumps, bumps and rip- pling inequalities, is not more grotesquely picturesque than is his intellect, socalled. The truth of this statement may be proved to the satisfaction of all fair-minded and impartial men by a mere review of his various dia- tribes and innuendoes concerning the McKinley tariff. The Democratic donkey, gesticulating wildly with both ears, delivers himself in a most or- nate though not convincing manner in a wild attempt to prove that he knows whereof he brays when he touches on the subject of the reduction of the McKinley tariff and its relationship to what he is pleased to consider as the real issue in American politics to-day. He brays on the twin sub- jects of business and protection in such a way as to suggest the fact that these subjects of general discussion are so shuffled in his thoughts as to make his meaning correspondingly mixed when he undertakes to make himself felt in brays. The voice of the Democratic donkey is a patchwork of noises which is anything but philosophy and common sense. It is not even melody in the worst of rag-time forms. His vision is distorted, not to say twisted, and the spectacles through which he views the political situation are those of graft, corruption and general all-round crookedness. After a while it may be said that a ram's horn is as crooked as the Demo- cratic donkey, beside which the eel is not slippery. Yet there is that in his bray which is dulcet melody for ears Democratic every time he opens his spacious and capacious mouth on the subject of the reduction of the McKinley tariff, or anything else for that matter. Toca ee ee BY OVERHEARD AT ASHEVILLE. Farner—"* But why hasten the wedding ?”* Dauciter— Why, the count may die, papa.” Fatner—' What of it? He doesn't owe me anything yet.” comicbooks.com