Judge, 1904-02-13 · page 15 of 20
Judge — February 13, 1904 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains mostly **advertisements and brief humorous anecdotes** rather than political cartoons requiring historical context. The notable content includes: **The "Modern Science" poem**: A satirical piece mocking early 20th-century medical optimism. It jokes that modern science claims to prevent every illness through serums, and if you die anyway, scientists can supposedly restart your heart. The satire targets the era's exaggerated faith in scientific progress and medical panaceas—a common theme in that period. **The brief jokes**: Mostly wordplay and domestic humor (e.g., a woman telling a suitor to leave quickly, an elevator operator's dark quip about going up being safe but coming down being dangerous). **Advertisements dominate**: Gold Seal Champagne, Evans Ale, Grape-Nuts cereal, and Bicycle Playing Cards fill most space—typical of magazine revenue models then. **No clear political figures or references** are visible. This appears to be a general-interest satirical magazine page focused on commerce and mild social humor rather than political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Chaucer was explaining his method. «1 simply dictate and let my stenog- “rapher spell as she likes,” he said. {Vondering nobody had thought of such an easy dialect scheme before, he ground The Boke of the Duchesse."—New Sun. THEN isrequired by some and relished by all. Try Dr siegert’s Angostura Bitters. Yeost—“When we get real cold weather they say we are getting a taste of winter. “Yonkers bitter lesman, “See here !” cried the victim, after the aecident, “I thought you said it was per- feetly sale to go up in that old elevator ?” “So it was Safe to go up,” replied the clevator man, “ the dang: was the coming dows Press." erous part of it '—Philadelphia WELL POSTED. A CALIFORNIA DOCTOR Wi H FORTY YEARS’ E! 4 “In my forty years’ experience as a teacher and practitioner along hygienic lines,” says a Los Angeles physician, * I have never found a food to compare with Grape-Nuts for the benefit of the general health of all classes of people. 1 have recommended Grape-Nuts for a number of years to patients with the greatest success and every year’s experience makes me more enthusiastic regarding its use. make it a rule to always recommend Grape-Nuts and Postum Food Coffee in glace of coffee when giving my patients instructions as to diet, for I know both Grape-Nuts and Postum can be digested by anyone. As for myself, when engaged in much mental work my diet twice a day consists ofGrape-Nuts and rich cream, | find it jest the thing to build up gray matter and keep the brain in good working order. “In addition to its wonderful effects as abrain and nerve food Grape-Nuts always keeps the digestive organs in perfect, healthy tone, I carry it with me when I travel, otherwise [ am almost certain to have trouble with my stomach.” Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. Strong endorsements like the above fom physicians all over the country have stamped Grape-Nuts the most scientific food in the world. There's a reason. Look in each package for the famous litle book, The Road to Wellville.” When so many peo- ple are drinking don’t you think it might be worth your while to try it? What is the taste of winter ?” Crimsonbeak —* Why, it’s when it is Patience—" Did he leave early, last evening ? Patrice—" Yes.” Patience—" And did he say he was going to kiss you when he left 2” Patrice— He did, and then I told him the sooner he left the better."— Yonkers Statesman, Spring !—Put new life into the run-down system. Abbott's Angostura Bitters does it. Nothing like it to kill that «tired feeling.” MODERN SCIENCE. You needn't have a single thing Unless you really care to; They make their serums to prevent All ills that flesh is heir to. But if, despite this simple fact, With trouble you are ailing, ‘They have a sure and certain cure For all disease prevailing. But if, ignoring this, you die— The situation meeting, The scientists have found a way To start your heart to beating. So with this triply-guarded life, According to their say-so, It does seem queer that we still die And obstinately stay so. —New York Sun. Judge—* What happened alter the prisoner gave you the first blow 2” Plaintif— Why, then he gave me a third one, your honor." ‘Fudge —“ You mean a second one.” Plaintiff/—" No, L don’t ; | handed him the second one."—Chicago News. THE STANDARD AMERICA. Gold Seal Champagne Special Ory—Brut You secure quality, bouquet and flavor in Gold Seal equal to any French cham- pagne, at one-half the cost. Why pay for foreign labels? “GOLD SEAL is sold « After all,” remarked the hobo philoso- | pher, «there ain't so much difference be- tween me and a stylish gent.” No ?” ejaculated the bar-room loafer. No,” rejoined the hobo philosopher. “A stylish gent wears his cloth i, and my clothes are well worn." —Chicago jews. Smartley—"1 believe 1 can find the south pole. Dumbley—“ Well, how would you go about it?” Smartley— By following the revolu- tions in South America until I reached the apex."—Aulte Inter-Mountain, There’s Money in Ideas! wal, you have ideas which can be used for advertising matter, such as show cards, folders, cutouts, etc. send them in. Hit is good. ‘A rough sketch or any other suggestion can be used, Cash paid for all ideas accepted. All rejected matter will be returned. ROBERT LEITER, “Judge” Office, 225 Fourth Avenue, New York. Between New York and Chicago in 24 Hours . . Via New York Central—Lake Shore Route . . . EGYPTIAN DEITIES No Better Turkish Cigarette can be made CORK TIPS Look for Signature OR PLAIN o& S. ANARGYROS WHAT HE WOULD RATHER HAVE EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY. Gusuinc tapy—" Oh, but Mr. Jones, I should love to be beautiful—even if for only half an hour!"* Jones—"Yes; but you wouldn't like the coming back again!" Never equaled. Popular price. 4} [ein this box. Dealers everywhere have them. The U. S. Playing Card Co. Cincinnat!, U.S.A. 128-page Hoyle for 10c. in stamps. Address Department 26, For Duplicate Whist, best of card games, use Paine’s Trays. | Booklet, “Simple ‘Whist," telling about tt, for 2c. stamp, FRONT OF BICYCLE BOX. ‘‘LAKE SHORE LIMITED.” comicbooks.com