Judge, 1904-02-06 · page 7 of 16
Judge — February 6, 1904 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of turn-of-the-century American humor: **"The Moral of Bad Company"** (top) depicts prisoners in striped uniforms, sardonically suggesting that most arrive via "bad company"—accompanied by police or detectives. The joke: blaming companions for incarceration is convenient excuse-making. **"Morning in the Flat"** mocks urban apartment living, where residents overhear neighbors' mundane complaints (butchers, groceries, servants) through a dumb-waiter shaft, treating it like entertainment. **"Will Be Absorbed in the Game"** shows a rural couple arguing over a checker-board purchase—the husband welcomes the distraction from life's worries. **"Grasping at the Shadow"** (bottom series) depicts a cat chasing its reflection in windows, unable to grasp the "substance" (the real cat) while pursuing the shadow—a metaphor for futile pursuits. Lesser pieces include a "Sonnet to a Crab" (nature poetry mockery) and "Fitted for the Position" (someone trained in photography becoming a newspaper correspondent—implying lowered standards for journalism).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Mrs. Guermino- Guarp—"' Oh, awful, mum! MORNING IN THE FLAT. WHAT sounds the eloquent dumb-waiter shaft Each morn convey to me in varied tone! It is the flat’s unerring gramophone— The fount whereat the matutinal draft Of commerce, gossip, and what not is quaffed. “« Take back this heart,""a lady pleads ; * the bone You sent me for the soup will do al “T won't,” the butcher-boy replies,“ Yer daft!" Then * groceries,” “coal,” bread,” milk," and “pie” arise— The janitor is heedless of mishap— But what is this above the Babel wave? My wife has taken the servant by surprise. I sadly hear, amid the deafening scrap, “Twon't, mum! Now, that’s all—Oi'm goin’ to lave KUGENE GRARY. WILL BE ABSORBED IN THE GAME. Jason—" 1 paid twenty-five cents fer thet there chec! board.” Samantha —" Yew spendthrift! Yew needed a good many other things worse'n yew did a checker-board.” Jason—"\ knowed it; but now I won't hev time tew think thet I need ‘em.” Sly LIE —Ah, there he goes! — A “GRASPING AT THE SHADOW AND LOSING THE THE MORAL OF BAD COMPANY. Mousey—"' Here comes my chance to bunco that fool cat.—— een eee “1 suppose most of the prisoners are brought here by bad company."* They're usually accompanied by a police-captain or a ward-detective." SONNET TO A CRAB. HOU crawling antonym of progress bright, Anachronism in these strenuous days, With Looking Backward" in the morning haze er thy awkward shape before my sight ! among crustac ‘The ne plus ultra of un thou art quite I'm happy when the fis His net, because, forsooth ! it serves thee right. ‘The turncoat lobster is a salad. Compared with thy ungainliness, and yet Bedeviled thou'lt pass muster in the group. But hark! ‘The welcome noise of kitchen tin Proclaims my gifted cook doth not forget. Avaunt, thou drone, and mingle with the soup! FITTED FOR THE POSITION. R. E, Porter—“\ hear you are off for a newspaper correspondent.” 0. Tagrafer—" | start to-morrow.” Strange, but I never knew before that you were a journalist.” F. 0. Tografer—" Oh, yes. [had a thor- ough course of training in Pushum’s photo- graphic studio. no. | aU il ST Fie rag, —How’s your eye, mine ancient enemy?” SUBSTANCE" REPETITION. ‘comicbooks.com