Judge, 1904-01-30 · page 4 of 16
Judge — January 30, 1904 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces and illustrations typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine: **"Diplococcus Lanceolotus"** - A poem mocking contemporary medical debates about bacteria and disease transmission, particularly the "germ theory" of illness. The satire suggests doctors cannot agree on or properly name infectious agents. **"Judge's Favorites"** and other brief jokes address domestic life and relationships with the period's characteristic humor about marriage and gender roles. **"Disturbing the Piece"** and **"A Natural Mistake"** appear to be brief anecdotal jokes about everyday situations. **"No Trust"** - A cartoon dialogue between two men in what appears to be a tailor's shop, joking about trust and tailoring. The page exemplifies Judge's typical mix of social satire, medical/scientific mockery, and domestic humor aimed at educated middle-class readers of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE'S FAVORITES. HATTIE WILLIAMS IN “THE GIRL PROM KAY'S." ‘Who sees you skim ‘With that rare vim ‘That makes the very footlights dim; Who sees you trip And gayly skip The saraband that's full of zip; ‘Who sees you whizz And shine and fizz, Just sees the best one in the biz That makes the show, Now, don't you know, Hang out the placard, “*S. r. 0."* S4GHE'S been a good wife to Sam, ain’t she ?” “ Dat’s right. She begun ter take in wash- in’ durin’ de honeymoon.” DIPLOCOCCUS LANCEQLOTUS. sisal auth (Some doctors say that a “cold” has nothing to fifi! 4; HY (| Fi do with cold itself; it is merely an attack of certain i A St \ micro-organisms.— Exchange afer.) nt] Wi peal INCE modern doctors now declare We have no ‘colds ""—that vicious air Is that which pains our systems “Tis well this latest truth to kno. That vicious air obtains its sway Through millions of bacteri-a. These diplococcus lanceo- Lotus (small imps) are now “the go,” For half the folks you chance to meet Upon the cars and i Have them quite bad! They are just suffering from a ** cold.” The pathogenic critics say You cannot name the thing this way— That it’s much wiser to be sure Of the right nom-en-cla-ture, Which, by its tortuous length, explains Much better all these aches and pains. ‘So weather cold and weather hot Are blameless, and should be forgot. What we must fight and drive away Are these absurd bacteri-a Till they are as a story told— And no once henceforth has a cold." Should some one ask what harms us so, Say diplococcus lanceo- Lotus—and more if there be time. For this long word, which will not rhyme, Ought to drive questioners away, And even kill bacteri-a. JORL RENTON. DISTURBING THE PIECE. A NATURAL NISTAKE. HE passenger. has been lying back in his seat, half dozing, for an hour or so, when the train slowly pulls into the yards at the outskirts of the great city. Still in the border- land between sleep and waking, the passenger looks from the window. His glance fails upon a huge freight-car on a siding. One look at the display of foot-high letters on the freight-car is enough. The passenger fumbles in his pocket and yells, “ Here, boy! bring me one o' those extras.” A REAL FREAK. 6THE armless wonder,” said the fat lady, “is a man of excellent traits. He has always laid aside half of his earnings, and now he has enough money to retire on.” “Yes,” commented the Circassian princess, who was bleaching her wig preparatory to accepting a situation as an albino, “I have always thought the armless wonder was fore- “SQ | NO TRUST. « "Does your wife trust you?” “Well, say! I'm glad she ain't my tailor.” comicbooks.com