Judge, 1904-01-16 · page 7 of 16
Judge — January 16, 1904 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents a collection of short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines. The central cartoon depicts a chauffeur drowning while a married man abandons him, captioned "Only a Married Man—That's All." The dark joke suggests married men have "nothing to live for," reflecting contemporary cynicism about marriage. The surrounding text pieces mock various social conventions: a puritanical husband criticized for rejecting modern amusements; youth's ambitions versus age's reduced expectations (signing checks instead of fame); and a woman complaining her neighbor's new wire door-mat has "ossified" (become brittle/aged). Most pieces target middle-class anxieties—marital dissatisfaction, changing social values, domestic disappointments. The page uses brief dialogue and wordplay rather than political commentary, reflecting Judge's focus on lifestyle satire for affluent readers rather than broader social critique. The humor assumes readers recognize these domestic frustrations as universal.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A MIDWINTER VIEW. F I could skate in summer- time, When birds are mating in the trees 5 When wedding-bells serenely chime And flowers are dancing in the breeze, You bet your life I wouldn't go Out in the cold and in the snow, Though some folks think it's awful nice To hie them forth and cut some ice. If I could go and take a whirl In winter-time, along the strand, And frolic with some summer girl, And lead her gently by the hand, You wouldn't catch me sitting here In great ear-mufis and shawl, : ne'er fear, With mittened hands and rub- bered feet, Knocking the janitor for heat. PRANK. H, BROOKS. DRIVEN TO IT. First writer —My next story will be in dia- lect." Second writer —What for?" First writer—1'm all out of plots.” THE POINT OF VIEW. Miss Weary— Father always turns the gas off at ten o'clock.” Staylate—* That's first REMINISCENT. PLAIN TO SEE, HEY say he’s the flower of his family, But swiftly it comes to your mind The brand that is thus repre- sented Is not of the self-raising kind. COULD BE IMPROVED UPON. +¢MY HUSBAND,” com. plains the wife, “is so puritanical! He does not believe in theatres, danc- ing, card-playing, clubs, or any of the modern forms of amusement.” “Indeed?” murmurs the confidant. « But (sooth- ingly) you should remem- ber that you took him for better or worse.” “I know; and I can't help thinking how much better it would be if he were worse.” THE CHANGE IN IDEALS. OUTH wants to write his name up high, Fame's golden scroll to deck ; But age is glad to write upon The bottom of a cheque. A CHEMICAL CHANGE, A NEIGHBOR'S new wire door-mat was an object of great curiosity to wee Edith. “Oh, mamma !" she ex- claimed on returning from her half-hour visit, * Mrs. ‘Te cHaurrEUR—‘* My auto sometimes reminds me of my wife.”* His prienp—"* Why ?* ‘Tue cHaurreur—* Oh, it blows me up occasionally.”” A MISNOMER, Cobwigger— Look here! did you break that rubber-plant?” Freddie—" That ain't no rubber-plant. I pulled at it till all the leaves came out, and it didn’t stretch a bit.” rate. I was just going to Newcomb’s door-mat has ask you to do it.” become all ossified.” BETTER THAN RICHES. De Garry—“In making love to a Boston girl, what is the best thing for a fellow to possess Merritt— A dictionary. ONLY A MARRIED MAN—THAT'S ALL. Henreck—" Good-bye, Bill! ‘The spar won't save two, Good-bye, old boy! You're single and have got something to live for." (Sinks.) comicbooks.com