Judge — January 9, 1904 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ZLD, Ae >. 7 ta e PUBLISHED WEEKLY Ax Tux Parken BUILDING, FOURTH AVENUE AND Nixermnstm StaxEr, New YORK. Western Apvexrisinc Orrice—S28 Marquette Building, Chicago, It TERMS TO RIBERS : UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year. or sanumbers- == One copy, six months, or 26 numbers = = One copy, for thirteen weeks $5.00 250. 135 Tncluding the Cumistatas Jvoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $5.00 a year. EUROPEAN SALES-AGENTS—/nternational News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, F.C, London ; Brentano's, Avenue del" Opera, Paris : The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain, Seardach's News Exchange, Mains, Germany, Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and igorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inctose a stamped and self-addressed erfvelope with all manuscripts, otherwise retum of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and address written plainly on each and every separate sketch. The ac Joke or ‘comparying descriptive letter-press should in ébery instance be written upon its indtvidsal picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. Inclosure of stamps 'o the full amount of postage (s also required, 10 insure safe and prompt return of matertal not accepted. ‘THE PROOF of the political pudding is in the grafting. eee NOW the small boy on the pave the snowball ingeniously fashions Till it’s as hard as a rock, and then, in less time than a jiffy, Hurls it the plaza athwart, and onward it airily hurtles, Till of a sudden kerflop it spreads, and, no more a projectile, Downward it drips from the ear, the eyes and the nose and the hirsute Of the spry ped as he stoops to pick up the high-polished “ silker” That from his head has been whacked and sent like a pin-wheel a-spin- ning Over the gutter kerzip and swift down the wind-polished sidewalk. ‘THE PANAMA CANAL SCHEME has for so long a time been a bone of contention that it has almost come to be looked upon as nothing else. Morgan, who is a natural stumbling-block, not to say a high priest of delay, has barked so long and so loud that he has almost lost his voice. Daniel has outyelped a pack of hounds, and the music, or, rather, the ki-yi, of his strident bazoo still reverberates from one end of the land to the other. Gorman, the fox-built tactician, has been baying at this Panama moon so hard and so fiercely that many of his friends, as well as enemies, think that the ever sly and slippery Marylander fancies that the tin-pan of public con- demnation has been firmly annexed to his political tail. Colombia has also had, and is still having, its little bark of disapproval. And it looks as if this chorus is to be kept up indefinitely. In the meantime Uncle Sam looks on and listens, while he guards the Panama bone and poses as the king of the kennel. He will be found ready for business when any of the aforesaid and other canines feel disposed to deprive him of his managerial rights in this important matter. He is vigilant and wary, and well able to break the necks of the persistent and pestiferous whiffets which surround him, AN and which, duly considered, are all bark and no bite, except at the time that they indulge their specialty of biting off more than they can masticate. eee THE LYNX-EYED managers and janitors of the national Democracy are not without the liveliest kind of a lively fancy. At the present writing these sinister seers and sages imagine that in the flashlight of the recent Tammany victory they see a star of hope which they do not consider the star of a forlorn hope. These optimistic augurs should pause for a flitting minute’s space and consider well the bristling and tempestuous fact that there are stars and stars, and that all these gems are not genuine. The Tammany tiger may flash this shining beacon from the craft of graft upon the troubled waters on which the national Democratic ship is tossing and plunging helplessly about, while its ancient cormorant of a commander clings to the gunwale, fiercely fascinated by the ignis fatuus which makes plain to him the various legends of the foundering craft, such as “ Jeffer- sonian principles,” “ Jackson hickory planks,’’etc.. The Democratic solons may’ some day waken and realize that they and the machine to which they cling with the tenacity of so many wrecked sailors are things of the past and not things of the present or the future. They are unconsciously camp- ing on the ash-heap of the oblivion upon which they held an option during the days of their triumph and prosperity. Jackson and Jefferson have about as much to do with the Democracy of to-day as the methods of Co- lumbus and Cortez have to do with those of the haughty and courageous. captains of the brick-laden sloops that ply up and down the Kill von Kull. It is difficult to believe that a knowledge of this fact is not a part of the mental capital of these soldiers of fortune, who fondly fancy they see hopes in empty theories, stars in candles, and graft in everything. They are cer- tainly a forlorn set of vagabonds leading a forlorn hope to the toboggan- slide, which is always so well greased with the vaseline of public opinion that the slide to defeat is sure to be quite as swift as it is noiseless. ii ” AG Daww ae A FIRST-CLASS BUSINESS MAN. "Ach, Yawkop! leedle Ikey-ish heart-proken pecause I von't let him play mit money; but I'm afraid to—he mighd shwallow id."" Mr. Ikexste:n—" Ach! let him play mit dot counterfeit dime I got stug mid. If he shwallow dot der loss vill pe reduced to a minimum, Repecca.”” comicbooks.com