Judge, 1904-01-09 · page 10 of 16
Judge — January 9, 1904 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes American political corruption and machine politics circa early 1900s. **"A Class Recitation"** mocks the proposed establishment of a "chair of public life" at a western college. The teacher praises students' mastery of corrupt political tactics: hand-gestures for oratory, memorizing voters' personal details and ailments, faking spontaneous friendliness ("Old Sport"), and delivering acceptance speeches with calculated false hesitation. The satire suggests these manipulative skills—not ethics or genuine leadership—comprise actual "public life" education. **"An Up-to-Date Answer"** is a brief joke: asked the feminine form of "stag," a student answers "afternoon tea," mocking women's social triviality. **"An Ungrateful Fellow"** shows working-class Irish dialect humor (common in Judge), depicting a man brutally saving a coworker's life by pounding his back to dislodge a fishbone, only to receive ingratitude. The top cartoons titled "When Hardware Was Fashionable" appear unrelated period pieces.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A CLASS RECITATION. (It is announced that a chair of public life will be established in one of the western colleges.) eoyyite the class come to order, please? I am gratified, indeed, with the progress made inyour studies. Yesterday's lesson was well nigh perfectly mastered by all of you. If it is possible to make any distinction, | might say that Mr. Smith- kins is perhaps a shade more proficient than some others in his understanding of the best method of talking to an audience with one hand tucked in the bosom of his frock-coat. However, as an offset to this, let us remember that Mr. Smithkins has not yet fully mastered the art of shaking hands with a perfect stranger and making him think he is an old acquaintance. None of you has yet equaled the performance of Mr. Conner in memoriz- ing the names of all the men, women and children in a congressional district, together with complete data as to the illnesses of each family and the personal likes and dislikes of the voters. Do not be discouraged over this, though, for it is more a natural gift than a faculty acquired by education. In the matter of looking happy when an enthusiastic but unknown person slaps you on the back and calls you + Old Sport,’ | believe Mr. Nimmer- hammer and Mr, Bijuders are the leaders of the clas I trust the rest of you will renew your consideration of this important feature of public life and secure a better command of your facial expression as well as of your 2, WHEN HARDWARE WAS FASHIONABLE. “' Fair lady, hast thou nota few cast-off clothes Janguage. The average voter does not rejoice “*Cadzooks! this is hard." of thy lord's to spare a poor wayfarer ? Pee to see a frown or to hear a profane ejacula- AN UP-TO-DATE ANSWER. tion when he, as he thinks, is merely manifesting his deep and abiding admiration for his candidate. All of you, it is a great pleasure to state, are making marvelous progress along the line of delivering a speech of acceptance with such hesitation and embarrassment as to make it appear entirely impromptu. I sincerely trust that you may all some time enjoy the experience in real life. Now, our lessons, as you know, are growing harder as we go along. For to-morrow we will have one of the most difficult tasks yet set for us. You will all be Teacher (to class in English grammar)— «Class, what is the feminine corresponding to the masculine ‘stag *?” No answer from class for some time. Hand finally raised in corner. Teacher-— Well, Jobn, what is it?" expected to show, by thesis and by:actual demonstration, the best way of dodging the cam- Pupil—« Afternoon tea.” paign cigar.” IY AN UNGRATEFUL FELLOW. ‘Thot mon Clancy hov no gratitude. “Twor only yishterday, durin’ the dinner-hour, thot Ol saved his loife."” " How wor thot?” Ol took out a fish-bone thot got shtuck in his t'roat be poundin’ him on th’ back wid th’ flat ay me hammer." comicbooks.com