Judge — January 2, 1904 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT THE MINSTRELS. 6¢6\AR. DINGLEBER- M RY,” said Mr. Bingwhazzle, after the circle had finished the chorus of * My Klondike is the gold of Molly's hair” and the applause had subsided ; «Mr. Din- gleberry, I have a conun- drum to propound to you this evening.” “Indeed 2" respond- ed Mr. Dingleberry, thrumming softly upon his tambourine and win! ing at the middleman; “indeed? And would you kindly propound it?” “IT will,” said Mr. Bingwhazzle, placing his bones in his vest-pocket and knocking a fleck of dust from his diamond ; “T will, What, sir, is the difference between a man preparing his poul- try for the market at mid- night and a lion after it has eaten its dinner at noon ?” “What is the difference between a man preparing his poultry for market at midnight—— Is the market to be at midnight ?” “No, no! He is preparing the poultry at midnight.” “Did you say poultry or poetry 2” “ Poultry—poultry, sir!" “Excuse me. I thought, if you said poetry, the man would be hungry and the lion wouldn't.” Do not be frivolous, Mr. Dingleberry,” said the interlocutor. “The conundrum as propounded by Mr. Bingwhazzle is this: + What is the difference between a man preparing his poultry at midnight for the market and a lion after it has eaten its dinner at noon?” “Well, sir, that’s too easy,” chuckled Mr. Dingleberry, permitting his left foot to do a jig-step while he remained in his chair. “The man BUTCHER WIENERWURST'S NEW-YEAR’S GREETING. who is preparing his poultry is sighing on the land and the lion that has had his dinner is ly- ing on the sand.” ir!” shouted Mr. Bingwhazzle. * You have tio reason to infer that the man is un- happy.” “ Of course he is un- happy. Who wouldn't be?" “But that is the wrong answer.” “Oh, very well, I can give you another. The lion is wagging his tail and the man is tag- ging his—— But there are no wails, are there ? Le'me see, There isn't anything about dessert and desert in this, is there ?” “Not a thing.” « Then the man had a bird in his hand and the lion had two in the bush,” ventured Mr. Dingleberry. “Oh, that is absurd !" “Well, it's the best I can do this evening. I didn’t ask you to ask me any old conundrums, did 1? Why is a conundrum like an unsigned letter? Because you can’t answer it. That's better than your old market-man, anyhow. What's the answer to yours ?” “It is simple,” said Mr, Bingwhazzle. “The lion is licking his chops and the man is lopping his chicks.” Then the interlocutor announced that Mr. Raphael Minningham Woodle would render the favorite classical selection, * When your rab- bit-foot ‘s unlucky you should throw the dice away L'GHTNING does not strike twice in the same place because the place is not there the second time. HOW IT FELT. Macote—“'I say, Chimmie, when yer look inter dat restaurant winder don't it make yer mout’ water ?"" Jimmie—" Water? Hully gee! it makes me mout’ feel like a ship-bulidin’ trust.”” comicbooks.com