Judge — January 2, 1904 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Chorus of legislators (in the smoking- compartment) —* Conductor, this train is {rightfully late; the service is simply hideous.” Conductor— Oh, well, gentlemen, haven't time to listen to your kicks no just let me have your passes, please.”— Cleveland Leader, New Orleans, Loe Angeles, The Sonttern’s Tain Limited New ak and St. iis Eater ew vont Orrices: ee Aine ‘WASHINGTON, DG ,BRASS BAND alforme, Lyon pape a rie feives tpetroctions fo cra atet Jr aire LYON & HEALY, 15 Adams St,Chicago. SENT ON APPROVAL Lavghlin Fountain Pen Guaranteed Finest Grade 14k. SOLID GOLD PEN Special Christmas Offer OUR CHOICE OF $7109 to any Address, Th Two Popular 4 Styles @ For Only By registered mait 8 cents extra.) G Holder is made of nest quality in four simple parts, fitted. with ‘very highest. grade, large size tak. gold pen, any flex ibility desired—ink feeding de- vice perfect. Either style—Richly Gold Mounted for presentation purposes, $1.00 extra. Grand Special Offer You may try the pen a week, if you do not find it as repre: sented, fully as fine a value as you can secure for three times the price in any other makes, if not entirely satisfactory in eve Fespect, return it and we wi send you $1.10 for it—the <a toc. is for your trouble in writ- BY ing us, and to show our confidence in the Laughlin Pen, Ladies !—To a y: fan old man, toa single man, there is nothing in lestration on left is fll size ies’ style ; on right, Gentle- men's style. Lay this Ju ‘and write Safety Pocket Pen Mae seat free of charge with each Pe ‘ADDRESS Laughlin Mfg. Co. 22 Griswold Street Detroit, Mich. ‘WHEN MY ROWBOAT COMES IN. Once I pictured in my fancy All the joy and merry sport, When my ship with swelling canvas Came to port. Now I'm waiting for the me “sage— And I'll raise a modest di: When I sight a little rowboat Coming in. —New York Sun. “Tell the court just how it happened,” urged the lawyer. “Why did you hit this man 2" “Well,” replied the prisoner, “it was this way. Ye see, yer honor, Oi was walkin’ down th’ strate and I’ met this felly leadin’ a yellow dog. + Oh, ho,’ says Oi, thinkin’ to joke a bit wid ‘im koind av a dog is that you're leadin’ Oi. “An Oirish setter, says he."—Chicago Record-Herald. Grittick—Yes, 1 took in the opening performance of Gagley’s comic opera at the Comedia last night. Jenkins—" Yes?” Nothing new there, I Suppose ?* Criltick —“ Oh, yes ; some of the people in the audience seemed to be quite new. They laughed at the jokes.”"— Catholic Standard and Times. Mrs. Newlywed—" No, U can't say that I think much of my new sewing-machine. Iv is disappointing’ Mrs. Oldgirl—" Why, it is a very good make. What seems to be the trouble ?” Mrs, Newlywed—"1 don’t know exact- ly, but when I tried to sew some buttons on Mr. Newlywed's shirts yesterday it broke every last one of them."—Cincin- nati Times-Star, | “Now, boys,” said the teacher, “can you tell me what it is that foilows the said one of the bright ones. “Well, Tommy, what is it follows the flag “Anauction, ma'am."— Vonkers States- man, Weste Baltimore—“\ see in to-day's papers that the pope sat behind a large grating "- Rolande Parke—* Oh, thank you, thank you! That reminds me. My wife told me to bring some nutmegs home."— Baltimore News. | Howes—* Don't like this cold weather, eh? Why, only last summer you were complaining of the heat.” Burnes—" Not of the heat itself, but rather because of its untimeliness. It would be all right if reserved for such weather as this."—Boston Transcript, Vegetarian—* Don't you know that the strongest animals are all vegetarians, the elephant being the most powerful Carnivorous friend—* That's all right. If they weren't so strong they never would be able to stand a vegetable diet."— Boston Transcript. Augustus—* hear you've been mak- ing a bid for Miss Roxana’s hand 2" “Angie—" 1 have.” Augustus— Did you know that her father reserved the right to throw out all | bidders ?"— Yonkers Statesman, ‘Vineyards are fine. the Brotherhood Washingtonvite, BROTHERHOOD WINE CO. your daughter's hand in ™- “No, sir!" snorted her father. * You can’t have her! What could possibly have prompted you to ask "—— * Why—er—she did, s “Oh! that's different. Also, that set- tles it."—Philadelphia Press. « De righteous hez a hard time in dis ol’ worl’. “Think so?" “Lknows it. Dar's Br'er Jinkins, wid de rheumatism in his good leg, whilst his wooden leg is leanin’ gin’ de wall, des ez healthy en hearty ez kin be !"—Adlanta Constitution, ..” {COLLARS Linen) ana CUFFS ARE THE BEST. Barker's Collars are Stamped “Linen” Other brands advertised and Sold as Linen are NOT stamped “Linen.” Why ? Prosecuting attorney—" Was the pris- oner in the habit of singing when he was alone 2” Pat McGuire (witness)—« Shure, an 1 can’t say, for Oi was niver with him when he was alone."—Chicago Fournal. Clara—"1 knew by the tone of his voice that he was going to propose to me.” Maud— Was there a ring in it? Detroit Free Press. I] JANUARY | TTT | JANUARY | — Dit 10F2 events is sure—de th orold age An adequate Endowment pelicy inthe Equitable will make pro It will protect your family ifyou die. vision against both. or yourself —if you live. Nowis the lime tomake such provision. To morrow maybe toolale character lo.act as representalves EE TARBELL 20 Mier President For full information fll out this coupon, or ws THE EQUITABLE LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY of the United States 120 Broadway, New York Dept. No. 25 Please send me information regarding an Endowment for $.....+.++ if issued at. seyears SPRING AND WASHINGTON STREETS 2 2 s NEW YORK CITY « # # of age. comicbooks.com