Judge, 1903-12-26 · page 6 of 17
Judge — December 26, 1903 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **four separate humorous anecdotes** typical of early 20th-century American satire: 1. **"Safe"**: A pun about job security. An actor claims he's fearless of being fired because his manager owes him two months' unpaid salary—so firing him would cost money. 2. **"Would the Woodman?"**: A tongue-twister joke playing on profession names (meatman, steel man, wire man, fireman) with no clear satirical target. 3. **"It Seams Too Bad"**: Extended pun-humor centered on sewing terminology (Madam Sewem, "fitting remarks," "waist of words," "pattern," "trim," "basting," "stitch"). A woman missed gossip at a dressmakers' convention. 4. **"What Made Her Happy"** and **"Contrariwise"**: Class-conscious humor. The first mocks nouveau-riche concern with status symbols; the second uses dialect humor ("uv," "ag'inst") to mock working-class immigrants, showing their hardship has made them cynical. The page emphasizes **wordplay and domestic/social comedy** rather than political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SAFE. ‘The noreL-keerer's DAUCHTER—"* Are you never afraid of fire, Mr. Monbarrs?"” Monsarns (the trogedian, playing in Hohokus)—" Well, hardly, my dear. The manager owes me two months’ salary now and wouldn't dare to fire me." WOULD THE WOODMAN? 66 [)ID you ever meet a meatman?” Asked the steel man of the wire man, “No; but in my anger’s heat, man, I was known to fire a fireman.” IT SEAMS TOO BAD. 66 YVHAT did Madam Sewem say at the convention ?"asked the first dressmaker. “Why, I didn’t hear quite all she said. The chairlady announced that Madam Sewem would make some fitting remarks, but some one else cut in and said if she was to be held up as a pattern for the other speakers it would be a waist of words. I was right on the skirts of the crowd, and was trying to edge in, and there was a terrible bustle 1 heal c\ NY hi mx ) = all about me, and then Madam Sewem got up and exclaimed that she could trim any one who chose to debate with her, and all the time the other woman was. inserting a word or two as she could, but anybody could see she deserved a basting and that she was going to get it, and I wish I could have heard it, but I missed the best part of it.” “Why ; couldn't you hear all that was said “ Not exactly that, but I got a stitch in my side and lost the thread of the remarks.” . WHAT MADE HER HAPPY. Cobwigger— Were you really pleased that the woman next door had a new coat?” Mrs. Cobwigger— Not at first, my dear; but I was as soon as I found out that it wasn’t real fur.” un Wil mnt i bai oe CONTRARIWISE. Mrs. Younocoox—"' You are sad. Does the chicken I gave you recall some of the tender reminiscences of your life?" 1. TooLey—" No, lady; it reminds me uv many uv de tough propositions I've bin up ag’inst.”” comicbooks.com