Judge, 1903-12-26 · page 10 of 17
Judge — December 26, 1903 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical vignettes critiquing Victorian-era social hypocrisy and class attitudes: **"Circumstances Alter Cases"** mocks a woman's selective charity—she enthusiastically lists Christmas gifts *she'll receive* but dismisses the "Christmas agent" soliciting donations, then revises her giving list downward when learning her friends won't reciprocate. **"Never at Home"** satirizes neglectful wealthy parents who are perpetually absent at social events, leaving their child alone. A hospital fundraiser's patronizing comment about the family being "clubbopathic" (joking they only attend clubs, not medical treatments) exposes class pretension. **"Too Good for Him"** presents dark Irish-inflected humor: workers celebrate a man's death with cheers, suggesting he deserved it. **"Correcting an Injustice"** shows similar class mockery—an actor hissed when appearing drunk gets applause when announced dead. **"How He Looked at It"** depicts a father warning his son that cleanliness ensures friendships, but the boy notes a goat and wagon would work better—suggesting material possessions matter more than virtue. The page critiques shallow materialism, parental neglect, and the arbitrariness of social approval.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER CASES. AS CHRISTMAS DAY was drawing near, | BOARDERS wawrlD upon a lady called ———$—— A gentlemanly person, who was old and somewhat bald. “Lam the Christmas agent,” he announced. «I'd like to know How many and what presents you're intend- ing to bestow.” fere's my list, sir; but tell me, ere you leave, What loving Christmas tokens from my friends I shall receive. She heard his answer with surprise, then laughed in gay derision. «Call round a little later, sir; my list needs much revision.” canouyn waits, NEVER AT HOME. HE caller was met at the door by the little daughter of the house. “Papa and mamma are away this evening,” says the little girl. * Will you leave your name, so I may tell them who called? ‘The servants have gone to the “4 outing of the work gentlemen and ladies’ association, and 1 am the only one here.” You poor little thing !* exclaimed the caller, ** Thank “EVERYTHING IS GOING TO THE DOGS.’ TOO GOOD FOR HIM. Seep Fal you, dearie; but I'l not come a Ona em oa yhiding place) —" hist, Muldoon! How's in or even bother you with a message for your parents. No doubt you can tell “He's in th hospital, hangin’ betwixt loife an’ me all I want to know. [am getting subscriptions for the new hospital, and thought perhaps your folks woul! contribute. Are they allopathic or homccopathic ?" “1-1-1 guess they'ré clubbopathic,” answered the little girl. Papa goes CORRECTING AN INJUSTICE. to his every evening an mamma has a meeting every afternoon and night that she must attend.” “ Hangin’. is he? Shure, thot’s too good fer him.” SO\JHEN Mr. Talkwell fell’on the stage the audience thought he was drunk and hissed him; but HOW HE LOOKED AT Ir. they made up for it when the manager announced that Fond parent (to young hopeful)-—~ Unless you keep your face and hands clean, he was dead? your teeth brushed, and look neat, the children of nice people won't have anything “Why, what did they do?” to do with you—they won't play with you.” “Gave him three cheers and a tiger.” Young hopeful— | bet if | had a goat and a wagon they would.” Poet—"' Here is a ittle poem entitled, ‘The Growing Corn.""* Eprror—"' Pare it down, my boy; pare it down!" comicbooks.com