Judge, 1903-12-19 · page 41 of 52
Judge — December 19, 1903 — page 41: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a Christmas-themed page from *Judge* magazine featuring several satirical pieces: **"Klondike Jim"** and **"The End o' Klondike Jim"**: Humorous ballads about a stubborn, ornery mule in the Yukon gold rush region who refuses to be driven. The joke plays on frontier dialect and the hardships of Arctic conditions—Jim freezes solid and becomes impossible to dispose of (no wood to burn him). **"The Humor of Christmas Shopping"**: Two comic panels contrast what boys buy their sweethearts (mustache cups, the "latest pattern") versus what girls actually want (shoes, the smallest size available). The satire mocks the disconnect between male gift-giving assumptions and female preferences. **Minor jokes** include references to gravity on Mars, a broken engagement over cheap gifts, and a racist caricature labeled "Rastus" about a "coon aeronaut"—reflecting the deeply problematic racial humor common to period publications. The page exemplifies *Judge*'s blend of frontier humor, romantic comedy, and pseudo-scientific gags typical of early 20th-century American satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OLD FRIENDS. POET seized his pen one night: “My muse," he said, sit is Christmas time ; Please ser KLONDIKE JIM. KINDo' mule were Klondike Jim, An omery, stub- born cuss ; No man, by gum ! were a-drivin’ him, He allus said to us. d at once the 1 stock OF tales and leg- ends, songs and rhyme. Th' mercury stud way down that night, Hull camp hung roun’ tht “We'll sing about the wassail bowl, The holly red, the mistletoe; tent; The chimes, the stockings and But Jim—wa.al, Yukon Pete the tree were right, And the old Christmas When Jim were a-guin’ he ghost, you know. went! “The letter sent to Santa Claus ‘That frost, said Pete, 'd knock ‘And how h gives each one him bid— their wish; But Jim were th’ same About the turkeys and the ol” crank— pia— Next day we find th’ remains We won't forget a single "bout ‘s stiff dish. As a ord'nary two-inch plank. “We'll tell about the poor child s dream ; ‘Tweren't no use tryin’ to bury How it came true on Christ- Jim; mas day Ground froze clean down Describe the Yule-log and the fer good ! snow Tho! we might ‘ve burned a swale fer him, But where'd we git th’ wood ? And tell each thing the same old way. “What's this you say? ‘Write + "Bout th’ only were dru Says Dawson City Jake Wiile we drive Jim down, with tenderes’ love, me ol” Jim something new ?* Oh, no, my muse, we wish each year, When our beloved ones gather ‘round, A MASCOT. Same way as you'd drive a The dear familiar things to “Rastus (the only original coon aeronaut, who's parachute has collapsed )—"* Dat lef hin stake ! hear.” foot ob de grabeyard rabbit mus’ be workin’ when I kin fall outer a b'loon onter a chicken. NO NEED TO TRAVEL. NO WONDER. Professor Stargazer— Gravity is actually less on the surface of Dora— No wonder Nora broke off the engagement. Ludovic Mars than at the sea level on the earth. Every ton of coal, for instance, _ is too mean for anything !" delivered in that remote globe would fall short by two hundred pounds!" Hattie—" What did he do?” Mr, Furness: that sa t is unnecessary to go so far as Mars to perceive Dora—Tried to kill two birds with one stone, Gave her a ¢ phenomenor i 3 CHOLLY ar j curs} AND HIS USTACHE CUPS Mous FACHE. THE VERY LATE PATERN. — diamond engagement-ring, and nothing more on Christmas.” CHOLLY'S SWEETHEART'S Foor.® re LADEN DORE What she buys Cholly. ‘And what Cholly buys her, THE HUMOR OF CHRISTMAS SHOPPING. comicbooks.com