Judge, 1903-12-19 · page 29 of 52
Judge — December 19, 1903 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humor pieces typical of early 20th-century American satire: **"Misunderstood the Title"** mocks racial dialect humor: a Black man buying "Posthumous Stories of Adrian Bullock" mishears "posthumous" as "possum-ous," assuming it's about possums rather than works published after an author's death. **"The Cost"** jokes about male dishonesty in romance—a man inflates a diamond's price to his girlfriend to seem more generous than he actually is. **"Considerate" and "That Was Clear"** are brief comic exchanges about mistletoe kissing and currency stretch, employing typical period comedic banter. **"Christmas Morning"** depicts a couple who agreed not to exchange gifts, then both kept their word—ironic restraint backfiring. **"Dolly and Holly"** is a sentimental romantic poem about a couple hanging holly decorations, with flirtation under the mistletoe. The page reflects early 1900s humor styles: racial caricature, marital/romantic comedy, and wordplay—now dated or offensive by modern standards.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FOOT-NOTES. ER little feet, In music sweet, Go pit-a-pat Along the street, And play for me In hairy glee Love's dainty dream. Built sympho-nee. MISUNDERSTOOD THE TITLE ‘4 MISTAH," said the colored man who had been looking over the second-hand Christmas-books, «what's de intitlement ob dis yer story ?” “ That?” asked the dealer, taking the volume from his hand, “That is ‘The Posthumous Stories of Adrian Bullock.’ “*Possumous stories" Ah reckon dey mus’ be fine. Spec’ Ah bettah buy dat book foh de chilluns. Wha’ dem stories erbout, suh ?” “Oh, about all kinds of things. They are just the usual sort of stories. They were found among his manuscripts after he died, and then printed in this form. * Posthumous,’ you know, means ‘after death.’ ” “Lawd, man! Ah thought yo’ all said + possu- mous,’ replied the colored brother, dropping the sub- ject and hastening out. What did that diamond cost you that you gave Dolly for Christmas ?"* Well, | gave forty dollars for the stone, and ten dollars to the clerk to tell Dolly it cost two hundred dollars if she brought it back to price it!" CONSIDERATE. Miss Rouge—"1 can't imagine why he didn’t kiss me when he caught me under the mistletoc 2” Miss Caustique —"No doubt he felt your complexion wouldn't stand it.” THAT WAS CLEAR. . HAT this country needs Ww is an elastic currency,” red Fosdick. “That's what,” assented Keedlick. “I'd like to see a five- dollar bill that would stretch so as to cover about twenty Christ- mas presents.” Lime Biuir—"| guess old Santy will see that all right, all right!" CHRISTMAS MORNING. Owing to a low state of finances they agreed not to give each other any Christmas gifts and both unexpectedly kept thetr word. A (BED) POSTER “AD.” DOLLY AND HOLLY. WHEN Dally and I the holly hang up "Tis strange that my heart goes up, too! And yet you'd not marvel that such is the case If Dolly's bright eyes fell on you. mischievous rogue is entrancing, As you, I am sure, would agree ; Ah, how my poor heart goes a-dancin, When Dolly hangs holly with me ! Now, Dolly ’s a maid who docs everything well ; But getting my heart in a fix Is one of the things that she does best of all— "Tis one of her cleverest tricks. When Yule comes around she devises To tangle me up, as you see. Love has the most wond'rous surprises, When Dolly hangs holly with me! She says, as I stand on the floor ‘neath her chair, “You're really beneath me, young man! Ob, why don't you rise? The occasion is fit !" (Of course it's a flirt’s little plan!) Leap toward her lips, I sur And—the fates, I am sure Righ: into my waiting arms send her, When Dolly hangs holly with me! CHARLES HANSON TOWNE. comicbooks.com