Judge, 1903-12-19 · page 11 of 52
Judge — December 19, 1903 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a Christmas-themed satirical page from *Judge* magazine featuring multiple short humor pieces and a central illustration of a child's face in a circular frame with mistletoe decoration below. The satirical content includes: **"A Hoodoo"**: Mocks rural farmers who pressured their minister to pray for rain three times without results—satirizing superstitious faith and farmers' dependence on prayer rather than practical solutions. **"On the Other Hand"**: Husband complains his wife's Christmas necktie gift resembles ones his mother bought—subtle satire on wives' poor gift-giving and domestic friction. **"Out of the Frying-Pan"**: Sardonic commentary that poverty results from men's excessive anxiety to avoid it—criticizing working-class desperation and poor decision-making. The remaining pieces are light domestic humor about Christmas expectations, children's materialism, and marital miscommunications—typical *Judge* fare satirizing middle-class American life around 1903. The overall tone is gentle, nostalgic Christmas satire targeting everyday social pretensions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all, good folk, from sea to sea, And may the presents Santa brings weigh down your spangled tree. Oh, may your many bills decrease in number and in size, And may your income quick increase and bring you many a prize! Oh, may your hearts in harmony beat like the frosty chimes, And may your sentiments reflect the season’s happy rhymes ! And may the Christmas music all your sorrows overcome, Though rendered by the strident horn and red-and-yellow drum. Pe A HOODOO, Urban—"1 thought that minister you had out your way was a particularly fine man. Why is the congregation dissatisfied with him and anxious for a change ?* Suburbds— You see, most of them are farmers, and they prevailed upon the good man to pray for rain upon three separate occasions without producing any result.” ON THE OTHER HAND. THE husband turns the combination of purple velvet and green silk in his hands. “What is this, my angel?” he asks, “That is a new necktie I bought for your Christmas present,” smilingly explains his wi “Well,” he says, “you buy ties just like mother used to buy, anyhow.” OUT OF THE FRYING-PAN, OVERTY is no disgrace — in fact, thousands of men have incurred the latter evil by too great anxiety to avoid the former. COPYRIGNT 1903 BY JUDGE COMPANY OF WEW YORK. UNDER the magic mistletoe This dainty little blue-eyed dear Makes one but wish; with joy aglow, It-could be Christmas all the year. And may you in wild ecstasy the smile so pleasant wear That dances on the pasteboard yak and canton-flannel bear. And may you like the children feel, that on the double-quick Go romping, while they fondly chew the monkey on the stick. Oh, may your pudding overflow with rich and juicy plums; And may you dance, and at grim fate snap joyfully your thumbs ! And may your happy new year be the sort of thing to make You turn a double somersault as you annex the cake. STUPD. Perdita— \t doesn't matter if this is the third installment ot the story. The synopsis is printed telling how the first chapters went; so you can start reading it from here.” Penelope— Yes; but how stupid of them not to have the synopsis tell how it ends!” HE KNEW. 46 ¢ AND his last end is worse than his first,” quoted the Sunday-school teacher. “ What does this refer to, children ?” “A hornet,” promptly answered the freckled boy who had just joined the class. UST AS WELL, 64 NOPE,” said Alkali Ike, who was visiting his cousins in the east ; “we don't give our children autymobiles at Christ- mas, Wegive’em six- shooters. Then they can pottheirman,even if he climbs a tree.” MANY aman lays the foundation of his misfortune by knowing too many things that are none of his business, ¢ ‘Sachest Withehna tho & Pig Co New York, comicbooks.com