Judge, 1903-12-12 · page 7 of 16
Judge — December 12, 1903 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces: **"Their First Ocean Trip"** (top cartoon): A domestic humor joke about Mrs. Rosenblatt on a ship, concerned about expense ("Did dinner cost a dollar?"). **"The Press-Agent Syndicate"** (main text article): Satirizes theatrical publicity practices. A shabby promoter pitches a scheme to consolidate press-agent work across hundreds of theater companies—arguing that instead of each show hiring individual publicists to spread the same exaggerated stories (chorus girls winning beauty contests, leading ladies with racing cars), one centralized syndicate could supply pre-written promotional material. The satire mocks both the redundancy and dishonesty of theatrical publicity and the financial desperation of the promoter himself (who ends by panhandling for lunch money). **"Very Difficult"** and **"No Mood for Joking"** (bottom cartoons): Quick gag comics. The first jokes about missionary work among cannibals and suspicious "mock-turtle soup." The second depicts a farmer too exhausted from eating to work for payment, resisting jokes about his meal. The page satirizes turn-of-century show business hucksterism and publicity culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THEIR FIRST OCEAN TRIP, Mrs, Rosenetatt—" Morris, Morris! shtop und t'ink a minute. ‘THE PRESS-AGENT SYNDICATE. $6] LL not take much of your valuable time,” said the shabby man as he was ushered into the presence of the great theatrical manager. “No, I am not looking for a part that will give me forty weeks on Broadway. Fact is, 1 am not an actor, but a promoter. I wish to en- list you in a plan for merging all the press-agent work in the theatrical business. There is too much needless diversity as it now stands—too much energy wasted—too many people engaged in telling the same lies. For instance, there’ are eleven hundred and thirty-six ¢ Uncle Tom's Cabin’ companies in the United States. They are employing eleven hundred and thirty-six press-agents who are all telling the same stories about the bloodhounds. Our concern enables these companies to discharge their press-agents. We furnish them with a line of press stories suitable to ‘Uncle Tom's. Cabin’ productions, whether with double Topsys or single. “Same thing with all other lines of attractions. There are thirty- eight hundred and forty-eight musical comedies in New York and on the road to-day. They all hire press-agents, who tell about the comedian’s happy home life, and how Miss Dottie Twinkle- toe is the only show- girl who ever won a Paris beauty contest. We furnish a fine line of stories suitable for musical comedies— stories about the cho- rus-girl’s prospective fortune in Australia and about the leading lady's racing automo- bile. We furnish pic- tures for these stories, of course — photo- graphs of the femi- nine stars taking box- ing-lessons, of the masculine stars doing Kensington work, and, in short, every- thing that goes to make a press-agent story according to the gospel of the Sunday newspaper supple- These stories will be sent out from our New York office, and there will be no expense except for postage-stamps. The result will be a net saving to the theatrical business of four million seven hundred and eighty-nine dollars a year, which money can be put into scenery and costumes, thus greatly elevating the American drama. What! no contract to-day? Well, sir, permit me to tell you that you are making the mistake of your life; and permit me to ask you also, sir, if you can oblige me with the price of a free lunch and a little something on’ the side. Thank you! And telephone me if you reconsider your deter- mination.” ARTHUR CHAPMAN. =] a = i (90m % vail Wa se S i Dot dinner cost a tollar!"* ment. VERY DIFFICULT. $+ P)O YOU trust the reformed cannibals?” asked the newly-arrived missionary. “Ltry to trust them,’ answered the resident missionary ; «but it is very difficult not to be suspicious when | sit down to one of their meals and am offered mock-turtle soup.” pate \ De WS ayz Barn whe —"* = - Tee eear NO MOOD FOR JOKING. Mrs. Faruer— ‘Will you saw a little wood to pay for that meal? Haxvenep Hosss—'’ Please don't joke wid me, ma‘am, after sech a meal ez cat. comicbooks.com