Judge, 1903-12-12 · page 5 of 16
Judge — December 12, 1903 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge presents a collection of light humor pieces typical of early 20th-century American satirical magazines. **Key Content:** The main items mock everyday domestic and social situations: - **Marriage jokes** ridicule couples' living arrangements and the absurdities of divorce proceedings, including references to actresses seeking discretion - **Gender humor** pokes fun at wives' domestic habits and decorative arts - **Class/accent humor** features Irish domestic servants (Maggie) using exaggerated brogue—reflecting the era's casual ethnic stereotyping common in American publications - **Professional pretension** satirizes a cravat clerk posturing as artistic while discussing haberdashery - **The "Sonnet to the Sausage"** is humorous verse elevating lowbrow food, mocking overly serious literary sentiment The page includes Marie Tempest (an actual actress of the period) referenced in "Judge's Favorites," a visual cartoon about a physician's medical misunderstanding, and predictable puns about owls and divorce. **Overall tone:** Genteel satirical humor targeting middle-class manners, marital discord, and professional pretentiousness—with casual period racism evident in the servant character portrayal.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
NATURALLY. 46] CANNOT under- stand why you and your husband prefer to board,” re- marked the friend. « Well,” explain- ed the wife, “we at first tried light house- keeping, but found ourselves completely at sea all the time.” THE IDEA! Dolly Kicksum— “Didn't. the lawyer know you were an actress ?” Tottie Footlites— “Good gracious, no! He offered to get me my divorce without any publicity. WOMAN'S WAY. Cobwigger—" My wife makes all her JUDGE'S FAVORITES. = own bric-a-brac. MARIE TEMPEST IN “THE MARRIAGE OF KITTY."” Go 2) er Who sees you happily disport Crawford —-" So Ard gayly whizz and whirl she's artistic ? And caracole, skip and cavort, * u ra And all your vim unfurl, Pe ee “No; destru Knows, as he sits in ecst-a-see, ‘As well as he knows bears, Just what the highest poetry Of motion is and means. SHOP-SAUCE. HER PRECAUTION. “' Maggie, what are you doing ?"* “Shure, mum, th’ man frum th’ drug-shtore is here to git th’ SOYVHAT kind of a hat should a man wear } impty syphons, an’ so Oi'm imptyin’ aff phwat's lift in thim in me th’ pitcher. with a pepper-and-salt suit 2” asked the handkerchief salesman of the genius who held sway over the neckwear counter. “A castor, of course,” responded the cra- vat clerk with the insouciance of a man who is studying for the stage by spending ten, twenty, or even thirty cents, as the. case may be, every Friday evening. THE DISSIPATING OWLS. WIEN owls go out upon a tot “Tis said this is the way of it: They say to one another, + Hoot! Come on! Let's make a day of it.” Jaggles —" What are the grounds divorce ?” JUDGE'S ILLUSTRATED DICTIONARY. Waggles— His better-half claims ik pemlise One his views blcer io ike didn't know how her other haif lives.” worst light. Ml” emcee ate bee perreines 37 UNSOPHISTICATED SURPRISE. Oi don’t belave in waste!" SONNET TO THE SAUSAGE. * Scorn not the soanet—nor the sausage.”” —Withetn Waretwrt. soulful symphony upon my plate, With odorous sauerkraut nestling by thy side, Oh, tempting tube! my wants are all supplied— Naught else is nceded my desire to sate. Lucullus, reveling in pomp and state, Would gaze on thee with swelling Roman pride. Alas! the boon was cruelly denied To crown his royal feasts. But such is fate, Whether thou'rt made of dog-meat chopped up fine, Or weary car-horse recently demised, Or pliant*porker ludicrously stout— It matters not. Thou art not less divine. + - By lovers always shall be idolized Thy strings of linkéd sweetness long drawn RUGENE GEARY." Your ailment lies in the larynx, thorax and epiglot indade? An’ me afther thinkin’ th’ throuble was in me throat."” comicbooks.com