Judge — December 12, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

—s ——— SSS PUBLISHED WEEKLY At Tux Panxxn BUILDING, FounTu AVENUX AND Novergestn Staxet, New Youre. rguetts Building, Chicago, Ut TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or 52 numbers ae One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks Including the Cinsruuas Junce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $5.00 a year. Eunorean sates-acents—Internationat News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, F.C, Landon Brentano's, Avenue de !"Opera, Paris: Saarbach's News Exchange, Mains, Germany. The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this conyright will Be orompily and Dizorousty proseculed. CONTRIBUTORS must inctose a stamped and self-addressed endelope wth all manascripts, othefivise return of the Latter when found unxvailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and address Wwritten plainly on each and every separate shetch. The accompanying joke or letter-press should in dbery instance be ‘written upon tts indtoldaal pictare, and NOT upon 2 separate slip of paper. « Inclosure of stamps to the full amount of postage (s also required, 10 descriptive tnsure safe and prompt return of material not accepted. FTER A WHILE a certain verse of scripture may undergo a slight change and read, “Of the making of many books that are neither bets nor literature there is no end.” NOW, WHILE the discontented bow-wow is wildly running outdoors to escape the hair-burning steam heat and as suddenly running in to escape the glistening, razor-edged incisors of Jack Frost, and while dear old Santa Claus is working overtime, with the whistle removed from his factory, the inveterate and incorrigible baseball crank is hopelessly lost in a brown study, that is simply a maze of weird dreams, figuring out the result of next summer’s baseball campaign in such a way as to prove con- clusively, and beyond all peradventure, that the giants will win the much- coveted pennant. tate [UNCLE SAM has enacted many difficult réles with a success that is enviable. It is therefore not to be wondered at that his efforts at car- ing for the latest baby, yclept Panama, have been crowned by a general all-round triumph that stamps him as a first-class nurse, as well as an up- to-date, intelligent republic baby-farmer. From the manner in which the new baby is kicking and clapping his hands when they are not engaged in a Greco-Roman with the bottle, the expert opinion should be that Uncle Sam is quite familiar with all the formulz of baby-culture. He is singing the same lullabies that he discoursed for Mexico and Cuba whenever he sought to amuse or put those interesting babes to sleep. He can rock the cradle and walk the floor, and he knows the difference between a pin and a pain. The baby republic that falls into Uncle Sam’s hands is indeed a most for- tunate infant from the moment it annexes the bottle of sterilized repub- licanism until it can relinquish the same and take to the breakfast-food of liberty and equal rights. Such a baby is sure to grow and develop into a pretty healthy adult, and finally to shine as one that is in every way capable of making himself felt in the world of nations, around which his horn will be heard like the dear old sage of Concord’s shot. IF THE PRESIDENT, whose fame as a bear-hunter is pretty firmly es- tablished, would be as widely known as a successful annihilator, not to say exterminator, of the wolves of immorality, he would do well to visit Russia and hunt this snarling quadruped of every form of rapacity under the mentorship of some old and crafty hunter. That Mr. Roosevelt is an adept in throwing the knife of investigation there can be no doubt in the minds of those that know. But what is one knife, even if equipped with a return- ball attachment, against the howling horde of ever-hungry wolves that prowl about his domain, seeking anything that may be easily swallowed? These wolves hunt together and are in sympathy with one another, although they belong to different packs. There is the trust, the corporation, the Panama canal, and many other wolves that could be named, that hunt sep- arately yet together under the infamous banner of graft, which banner em- bodies and sets forth their ideal of the triumph that is worth while. It should be a source of gratification and joy to all genuine old-fashioned Americans that these wolves have a tireless foe in Mr. Roosevelt, and it is to be trusted that they may comfort him with their sympathy, and in all other ways support him and hold up his hands in this unequal conflict, out of which he is pretty sure to come with the colors that fly but do not fade. fi AL UR Mr. Jacxson—‘* W'y am Sam Johnsing so down on golf?"’ Mr. Wurrewasn—"W'y, It's like dis. Befo' his stroke, an’ so she hits him on de shins.”” SSA SS “De _Klyb BuFret am\ oN A W kash BaysiS wife learned golf she used ter hit him on de haid wif a pokah. Now she kin only swing an undahhan’ comicbooks.com