Judge, 1903-12-05 · page 10 of 16
Judge — December 5, 1903 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short humor pieces typical of Judge's satirical style: **"A Mining Boom"** mocks speculative stock fever, where worthless mining shares are traded eagerly—Bill Sykes trades a horse worth $20 for stock and $8, calling it a profit. **"Wheels Within Wheels"** satirizes South American political instability, suggesting revolutions spawn counter-revolutions among lieutenants—a commentary on endemic Latin American political chaos. **"Equally Aggressive"** jokes about feuding Southerners so trigger-happy they shoot simultaneously, making it impossible to assign blame—stereotyping Southern violence and honor-culture. **"Face-Steaming"** is a light domestic joke about beauty treatments backfiring. **The Welsh Rabbit, His Impressive Name, and Fame** are whimsical puns about names and pretension. **"To His Advantage"** is an ethnic joke playing on "Cohen" (Jewish name) and bankruptcy—reflecting period anti-Semitic humor common in publications like Judge. The large illustration depicts an auction house or shop scene with well-dressed men bidding, likely accompanying one of these pieces.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A MINING BOOM. seGREAT activity in Idunno mining-stock to-day. + You don't say so!" “Ye-ah. Bill Sykes took for- ty thousand shares and eight dol- lars cash for that horse he was ask- in’ twenty dollars for yesterday. “ Well, he made eight dollars on the deal, anyway.” A WINTER NOTE. OW, the saddest refrain That eer shoots through our crown Is this line full of pain ‘That our fancy can't drown: “Oh, the snowflake we'll never see rising and the coal we'll ne'er see coming down.” WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS, SsYOU'VE got to be on the ground to understand the South American temperament,” said the returned traveler. “Of course we people up here think their insurrections are terrible, and all that; but if you are where you can see and understand you will realize that there are wheels within wheels in those matters.” “Wheels within wheels?” asked one of the listeners. “Yes. Lots of times a man will get up a revolution, and before he gets the thing fairly started some of his lieutenants will start a revo- lution against him.” EQUALLY AGGRESSIVE. Stranger— But how did the feud start? aggressor Native— t's hard to tell which was the aggressor, mister. As near as we can make out, each pulled the trigger at exactly the same instant, sah.” Which family was the I Palit i SS FACE-STEAMING. Mrs. Loester—'* | heard that steam was very good for the com- plexion, but I declare I'm as red as a beet!" aM A POLITE REPLY. 66 P)ON'T you think Miss Squair- face ought to take more beauty-sleeps ?” asked the dearest friend of Miss Squairface. “Well,” answered the young man who was trying to make an impression on the dearest friend, “possibly she suffers from somnia,” in- THE WELSH RABBIT. HERE once was a silly Welsh rabbit Who had the preposterous habit Of saying, “Now, I Spell my name with a y And a w—when I can grab it!” HIS IMPRESSIVE NAME, HERE was once a romantic damsel whose cup of joy was filled when she met a man. named Horatio Engelcourt Llanseville de Breux. “ What a magnificent name !” she sighed. “Ah, the grandeur of it! If he were but mine!” And so she set her cap for him, In time he was hers. And the only time she ever addressed him by his full name was when she putvit on the envelopes containing her impassioned letters. In the letters and in her daily speech she called him * Toodles.” This shows that there is much in a name until we decide upon a more appropriate one. FAME, First Colombian revolutionist— | tell you, we are putting up a pretty stiff rebellion this time.” Second Colombian revolutionist (proudly)—" Stiff? Why, I un- derstand there was a magazine article written about us last month.” ph Mh i TO HIS ADVANTAGE. **Vot dit Cohen fail for ?"” “ Ninety cents on der dollar—for Cohen.”* comicbooks.com