Judge, 1903-11-28 · page 12 of 21
Judge — November 28, 1903 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a multi-panel humorous commentary on boarding-house life and food quality in early 20th-century America. The main narrative follows Mr. Grizzly, who expects the Thanksgiving turkey to be inadequate—as boarding-house meals notoriously were. The satire mocks the common practice of boarding-house keepers substituting cheaper meats (veal stew) for turkey, hiding the deception by adding feathers. The joke's twist: when the turkey turns out to be *genuinely excellent*, Mr. Grizzly is so shocked by quality food that he collapses. Supporting vignettes mock related absurdities: a theater manager comparing flimsy houses to paper (referencing poor theatrical productions), a paper mill's "hand-made" machinery (suggesting false claims), and turkeys supposedly fattened on oysters and salt. The central satire targets the widespread expectation that boarding-house meals were fraudulent or substandard—so much so that actual quality food becomes unbelievable to long-term residents.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WAVE You Awie® Youna runme 7 ? ‘TERMINOLOGY. se ]N JAPAN,” said the oriental traveler, “we make our houses entirely of paper.” “So do we, sometimes,” returned the American manager gloomily. He was thinking of some of the long runs at his theatre. HOW SHE WORKED IT. ++ BUT were the boarders not suspicious sometimes? Did they not seem to act as if they doubted that the veal- stew was turkey 2” asked the news-gleaner. “Ab, hut I took precautions,” replied the retired board- ing-house keeper. “I always stirred in a few feathers.” HE DIDN'T QUITE UNEX- PECTED. S6YJJILL you Woe carve the tur- key, Mr. Griz- aly?" asked the landlady. Mr. Grizzly, a malevolent scowl showing on his forenead, picked up the carving-knive as a warrior seizes the sword and attacked the fowl. Slice aft- er slice of juicy white meat fell away as though it were snow yielding to the breath of early spring. Joints came apart as easily as a child's block- house is knock- ed down. Mr.” Grizzly began to puff and pant. A strange look of bewilder- ment came into his eyes. The cran- berry-sauce came on_ the table. It was perfect. It did not, as had been expected, have the thickness and stringiness of glue. Mr. Grizzly was breathing hard. And so it went through all the dinner, and when at last he failed to find a hair-pin and two or three marbies in the mince - pie he turned white as a sheet and fell to the floor. Physicians were summoned and labored over him for hours. When at last he returned tocon- sciousness he muttered, “Fourteen years in a boarding-house and heaven at last!" JN bragging of the seed don't forget the soil. WONDERS OF MECHANICS. +6 AND what is this massive machine ?" we ask of the super- intendent of the paper-mill. “That?” he asks, stopping to lay his hand knowingly upon one or two valves.“ That is the machine that turns out the genuine hand-made paper we make a specialty of.” MADAM, 1 INSURE YOU 1T DONT VAS) THE TURKEYS FAULT, THE CLEAVER VAS NO SHARP, I TRY Dis ONE. WHAT IT FEASTED ON. The crank—“ This turkey has a very salty taste.” The star boarder—* Of course it has. The bird was raised on the sea-coast. If Mrs. Mealerham will give you some of the dressing you will see that the turkey had feasted ‘on oysters.” YOU CAN KEEP YOUR TURKEY. DONT WANT IT. I DONT WANT IT. SELL THAT TURKEY—A THANKSGIVING TRAGEDY. comicbooks.com