Judge — November 21, 1903 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Mr. Bliggins seems to be a wonder- fully bright young man.” “He is,” answered Miss Cayenne, “in a certain way. He is careful to select topics of conversation so abstruse that you have to take everything he says for, granted."— Washington Star. Archimedes had just invented the screw. “Whoop !" cried the populace, “ we can now get the corks out of bottles.” Later, their disappointment may be imagined when they found it was only for the purpose of raising water.—New York Sun. The cannibal chief—" What was that didn’t she ? fellow I ate for dinner before his finish ?” Bachelor—* That's the story.” The cannibal chef —* A typesetter, Benedict —" Did he write anything | your excellency.” after that event ?" The cannibal chief— Well, he don’t Bachelor—Oh, yes—t Paradise Re-|seem to set very well now."— Yonkers gained '!"—Atanta Constitution. | Statesman. Benedict —“ Milto wife left him, It is easy to claim ‘pure beer,” but one must double the cost to make it. Schlitz is actually pure. We go 1400 feet down for water. We spend fortunes on cleanliness. We not only filter the beer, but filter all the air that touches it. We age the beer for months, so it cannot cause biliousness. We Pas- teurize every bottle after it is sealed. For fifty years we have insisted on purity, and now all the world knows it. The result is a sale exceeding a million barrels annually. Isn’t absolute purity as important to you as to others? Ask for the Brewery Bottling. I. W. Harper Rye. “On Every Tongue.” Made right, aged right, all right—tor right use by the right le. When you need whiskey try “I. W. Harper.” by leading dealers everywhere. BERNHEIM DISTILLING CO., - - Louisville, Ky. CHRISTMAS Diamonds On Credit There Is Nothing {35 please a loved one more at Christ- Baas than's beautfal Diamond Fing. brooch, earrings, locket, oF baimood atodded. wach. her is, there Saiycoiaes TE How? Sanit See a oechas toes La een Foal ta wl ced ton pobre aged td ee ee Papeete aie id ie pls oo ou So ta a eee cnie pte ak net it, baplerialf u lance to hella in ee eqeal otters ie turn the article at our expense. "We pay all express charges whether you buy oF pot. > We Are the Largest House &..i's,,Pignond also one of the oldest —Est 1858. We refer to any tant in Amenes ask your local bank how we stand. They will reler to their Com- mercial Agency books and tell you that we stand very high, and that ‘our representations may be accepted without question. Our Guarantee Certificate fro. crt, sy nent apenas concern, Our exchange system is the most liberal ever devised, for you to return any Noogtt of ah and get the fll amount paid tex: Uhange for other goods or larger Damon To the Cash Buyer Sensis. peti sca a a at a area eae hase igh eet a fity-dollar Diamond for a whole year, then seed i back and get sm. nae Darel Shed it ge aa incon Seas ae Paceviaarcprtecant antec ts Men LOFTIS "BROS @ co. DIAMONDS-WATCHES-JEWELRY Dept. M-40 Write to-day for Catalogue 92 to 98 State St., CHICAGO, ILL CALFLESS LAUGHTER. Lime Tomas Trrmuss (in all the glory of a new suit)—"' What on earth's the matter? I don’t see anything to laugh at!" His sisters AND COUSINS (together)—"" Absolutely nothing!" The guest in the restaurant—he was from a country town—was mad and he rushed up to the head waiter. “Here,” he said to the potentate; “that waiter insulted me.” “How?” inquired the potentate severely. “ L handed him a nickel for hi and he shoved it back at me in a jolent manner. That's how.” « How much did you say it was 2” “A nickel.” “That's all right. first. See?” Than the irate guest passed out some- You insulted him Highest Grade HavanaCigars what soothed in spirit by the thought that he was anickel ahead.—New York Sun. You wil get more prompt attention and better service ty ieaaceult Fooed ones havering adverinement, comicbooks.com