Judge — November 14, 1903 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NOT CURIOUS. Fraveo Ferotson—" Now, what do yer s’pose dat dog ‘s showin’ his teeth fer?"" He may te actuated by vanity, but | wouldn't go into the yard to find out.” Yave-oraouate Gus ‘THE LESS, THE MORE. 66\J/HAT !" asks the astonished husband when the wife shows him the bill for her new theatre-gown ; “ five hundred dollars for that dress 2” “Why, yes, my dear,” purrs the fond wife. * Five hundred dollars! Why, there isn’t half as much goods in it as there is in one of your ordinary dresses.” “I know; but when the modiste makes a décolleté gown she always makes a higher charge.” Poor old Adam! 1 wonder what his household expenses A KEEN OBSERVER. DRIVING along the road, Mr. Wilyman and Mr. Depeskemer keep their eyes open for the main chance. Soon they come upon a neat little farm. Each gable of the house and barn has a lightning-rod, and there are lightning-rods disposed artistically between the gables, as well as on all the fence- posts, and on the patent wind- mill, and on the automatic gate, and on the self-ringing dinner-bell, and about the field of Bohemian oats. « Let's stop here,” says Mr. Wilyman. What for?” “ We can sell this man an air-ship.” SCIENTIFIC NOTE, N Germany there was a heifer That ate some luscious hassen- pleifer. The rest is queer; It spoiled her ear Indeed, it made the heifer deifer. HER OPERA VOICE. seYHAT a frightfully loud, far-carrying voice that girl has! “That's her opera voice. You know her father has a box this year.” [T MIGHT be more appropri- ate if Constant Reader” would sign himself “Constant Whiter.” Disoustep parron—'* Walter!” Warrer—"* Yessir! Discusteo rarron—" Bring mea clean menu. The samples of soup are opposite the wrong names on this one."* CRUSHED. 66 ONE of the ladies’ literary clubs at Mudgeville has given up the struggle.” Why 2” Dh, the other club out dressed it at every point.” WHY SHA'N'T HE? ONSIDER the heathen Ashanti Whose garments are woeful- ly scanti. He gathers some boughs, And solemnly vows He'll build the Ashanti a shanti. THE LAST STRAW. HERE were some things about the king which his subjects did not like. For in- stance, he was an inveterate punster. All punsters are in- veterate; but as folks have to laugh at a king's puns, he is bound to be inveterater, and his puns invertebrater, than any others. But, nevertheless, the people were willing to put up with a few little foibles. “Oh, king,” said the chief of a large deputation of citizens, “ may your reign be one long era of sunshine !" “ What!" shouted the king. “Won't it be funny to have a long reign and not an umbrella raised ?” It was then that the leader of the hoi polloi gave the signal to sack the palace and bag the king. Served him right, too. CONFUSED, ‘+ JENRY PENHECKER," observes his wife as they sit at the happy breakfast-table, “you were certainly in a sad condition when you came home last night.” “Why, my dear,” stammers Henry, “how can you say such a thing? I remember distinctly thai when I came in you asked me to wind the clock, put out the dog, and light the night-lamp.” “Yes; and this morning I found the night-lamp with all the wick wound up in the chimney, and Fido’s tail perfectly bare where you had touched him with a match, and the clock lying on the back porch.” LOOK BEFORE YOU BUY. comicbooks.com