Judge, 1903-10-31 · page 6 of 16
Judge — October 31, 1903 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains multiple short comic sketches satirizing turn-of-the-century social manners and gender relations: **"An Angel of Mercy"** mocks a woman who rejected a suitor without explanation—the joke being that refusing a proposal makes her saintly by comparison to her actual behavior. **"He Got Too Strong"** features Irish-dialect characters discussing a young man arrested for assault, suggesting working-class violence and legal consequences. **"He Meant the Watch"** plays on the old joke that a wife won't stop talking long enough for a photograph. **"Two Excellent Subterfuges"** ridicules a drinker's transparent excuses (golf and stomach-ache) for consuming alcohol. **"A World of Compensation"** is a moralizing poem suggesting cosmic balance—predators eat prey; eventually humans get eaten—a sardonic take on natural order. The sketches reflect *Judge*'s typical humor: domestic squabbles, immigrant dialect humor, and gentle social criticism targeting drinking, vanity, and marital discord among middle and working classes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN ANGEL OF MERCY. “Oh, yes: she refused me and gave me no reasons whatever.”” “Isn't she a saint?” HE GOT TOO STRONG. asked Mr. O'Toole, « about th’ yoongest la-ad av 46 [FOV yez heard Meginnity’s ? No,” answered Mr. O'Tunder, * Phwat about him ?” “They tuk him oop fer wor-rukin’ th’ shtrong-ar-am act on some chance pedesthrian who happened 1’ come down th’ alley whin yoong Meginnity wor nadin’ money.” “Yer don’t tell me! Too ha-ad! too.” “ Mebbe so,” com- Mr. O'Toole; “mebbe so. But he’s in th’ soup now.” An’ he wor a broth av a boy, mented HE MEANT THE WATCH. De Style—"1 have my wife's picture in my watch.” Gunbusta — Is. it an open-face ? De Style—" Ob, no. She stopped talking while it was being taken.” TO SEE HOW IT ENDS. She— Isn'tit queer that the Chinese read their books by beginning on the last page first?” He (amused)— “Well, I know. I've noticed that all girls read a love-story that way.” don't 66QH, EDITH! ex- claimed Maude, who had just experienced an unusually smooth voy- age across the ocean, “Til never dread going to Europe again. The large ships have worn down the big waves so money.” A WORLD OF COMPEN- SATION. TIills isa fine old world we've got, Set up and run all right. We won't complain if we will view It in the proper light. ‘Aman may kick because he’s short Of many things he likes ; Bat after all he can’t condemn The average he strikes. For instance, he will eat a bird, Although it may object ; The bird will eat a worm, whereby The worm’s whole life is wrecked. But that is fair, as time will show, In working out the plan ; For by and by, to even up, The worm will eat the man. Thus each is fairly recompensed ‘According to his lot, And man and bird and worm should be Content with what they've got. WILLIAM J. LAMETON, DOWIEISM. THE Lord created woman, but you would never guess it from the evidence of the fashion-plate. TWO EXCELLENT SUBTERFUGES. S\\JHAT excuse,” we ask of our erring friend ; “ what excuse can you have for drinking? It seems to us that no man cotlld ever find a sufficient reason for imbibing the vile stuff.” He smiles knowingly. “T have two good excuses,” he explains, “and am so fortunate that one of them is always within my reach. In the daytime I play golf and at night I have stomach-ache.” WHAT THE CARDS PREDICTED. Muriei— Next summer, dear, you will take a long journey abroad and become engaged to a tall, fair man with heaps of much that they are now o Mituicerr—"' Fine! That will just sult me to a‘t.""" almost perfectly level. Murie.— But the next card says that a dark man will come along and cross your ‘t.’” comicbooks.com