Judge, 1903-10-31 · page 4 of 16
Judge — October 31, 1903 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated humorous pieces typical of Judge magazine's format: **"The Happy Little Dog"** is a sentimental poem about a content dog, paired with a cartoon illustration. **"Judge's Favorites"** excerpts Amy Ricard's theatrical performances, likely celebrating a popular actress of the era. **"Her Comment"** presents a brief dialogue between Miss Vera Hane and Rose Budd about a Mr. Neersite, appearing to be society gossip humor. **"Beyond Expectation"** shows a cartoon of horse dealers and an automobile owner, joking that a horse cannot climb trees or telegraph poles—satirizing early automobiles' unreliability compared to horses. Other sections include theatrical reviews and social commentary. Without specific dates or attribution visible, the exact historical references remain unclear, though the overall tone reflects turn-of-the-century American humor focused on domestic life, theater, and emerging technology.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE HAPPY LITTLE DOG. | AM the litte yellow dog that’s happy all the day, When I'm asleep beneath the stove or with the cat at play. Yes, I am happy through and through, and to the very brim, When up and down the stairs and round the house I gayly skim. I'm happy when I'm sitting up a piece of cake tu scuup ; {'m happy when I run to them that for me fondly whoop. | . Thave a home, and that is why I'm always on the grin, Which means I'll never romp and bark within a sausage-skin. Hl HER COMMENT. Miss Vera Plane— | always endeavor to be very distant to Mr. Neersite, and yet he is infatuated with me.” Rose Budd—" Yes, dear. 1 think if you weren't quite so distant he'd soon get over his infatuation. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. AMY RICARD AS “* CONTRARY MARY "" IN “* Bi 1M TOYLAND.”” In the ‘* Babes in Toyland "* you Rosy make the fancy which Half an hour ago was biue, Floundering in care’s deep ditch: For you caper until Toyland Is another name for Joyland. Up and down the stage you flit Like a pert on the wing. Of the play you're simply “it” ‘While you dance and while you sing; For you are the little Mary Beauty built, though quite contrary. Quite the life of all the play— Say the critics keen, who know— For the manner light and gay ‘That into your role you throw Are you, blithe contrary Mary— Amy Ricard, stardom’s fairy. NOT SO EASY. He— Darling, | would gladly die for you.” 2 She— Yes? But would you work for a liv. cee, har ater citia hima * Biti* # ing for me?” “Yes. If he can afford to pay the bill, the duke says he can afford to let him call him Bill.”* A COMPROMISE. “His name is William Fitz-Maurice Mountjoy Cornwallis, duke of Littledough and Lord EPITAPH. A JOKESMITH lies be- J neath this stone. Pray let no sorrow mar, But hope that in the great unknown He found the door a jar. JUST AS GOOD. Sporting editor — 1 : “Our best football re- i ake s “ porter is sick and can't oo go to the game.” Managing editor— “ Never mind ; we'll send the war-correspondent.” THE BELLE. E THINK a belle is incomplete Without a ring when young ; But later on—ob, sad de- ceit!— We find she has a tong?.e. DESCRIBED, BEYOND EXPECTATION. Mr. Jone:—"See here! This horse you sold me runs up on the sidewalk every time he sees an auto.”" Horse-veaten—"* Well, you don't expect a fifty-dollar horse to run up a telegraph-pole or climb a tree, do you?”” Johnny—« Pa, what is a promoter ?” ' Pa—"Well, you might call him a drum- major of industry.” comicbooks.com