Judge — October 31, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SSA SZTSTLEE PUBLISHED WEEKLY Ar rmx Pamxer Borpivc, FounTn AVENUE axp Nivergestm Sraxet, New Yor. Wesraxx Apvesrisinc Orri copy, one 828 Marquette Building, Chicago, Wi. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS: UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. or semumbers- : One year Ove copy, six months, or 26 numbers - ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks Including the Cunistwas Jvoce FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $5.00 a year Evnornan sates-acents—luternationat News Company, Sream's building, Chancery Lane, EC, London ; Brentane's, Avenue det" Opera, Paris: Saarback's News Exchange, Mains, Germany. The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in buth the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and rigorously prosecuted, CONTRIBUTORS must inclose a stamped and self-addressed ereiope with all manascripts, othe/tise retam of the Latter twhen found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Department should hare the sender’s fell name and address Yoritten plainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying joke or descriptroe letter-press should in dbery instance be wntiten upon tts tndrokteal picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. Inclosare of stamps to the full amount of postage (s also required, fo accepted. insure safe and prompt return of material not WHEN the peanut-crop isa failure itis always an off year in Democratic politics. tee MUCH of the success that is heralded as silk velvet will usually prove, upon close examination, to be ordinary corduroy. [F EVERYTHING, as the old saying has it, comes to him that waits, the Democratic nomination is quite likely to come to that time-scarred war- rior of antique sinew, D. Peanut Hill. In which event it will be safe betting, even at long odds, that the lynx-eyed philosopher will make a first- class run for second place. rs NAME gallicized on the bill-of-fare raises the opossum about as much in the estimation of the conservative epicure as the dress-suit elevates in the eyes of the voter the Tammany plug-ugly who, in wearing the same, innocently and unconsciously supplies a striking contrast to his breeding and intellect when he attempts to talk. THE IVY does not cling to the oak with a more intense and tender cling fulness than does Mrs. Hamilton Fish cling to the hope that an aris- tocracy may sooner or later be created in this free-and-easy country. It strikes us that a bloodless aristocracy, such as could be made of the four hundred, would be a howling novelty in its way, as well as one that would be quite likely to suggest to the playful fancy of the average American thoroughbred of democratic leanings and tendencies the idea of a bench- show of yellow dogs. Toate. = Sten, 8 ary [UNCLE SAM'S ARCH, which stands on the solid pedestals of equal rights and good government, is a national entrance which is made entirely of the horseshoe that is emblematic of good luck. This horse- shoe of good luck is not an esthetic decoration over any door, for the reason that Uncle Sam's legs constitute the said horseshoe. The foreign- ers that pass under this arch may well leave despair behind and flourish like the green bay-tree if they will. The golden opportunities are lying around thick and deep and loose for their inspection, and unto none of them is attached a string. Honest endeavor may and will surely find its reward in the land of plenty and prosperity that is reached through this magic arch, beside which the colossus of Rhodes becomes the seven-cent bronze paper-weight of commerce. The entrance is never closed for repairs. The latch-string is always out, the golden opportunities never. ‘THE DEMOCRATS of Ohio, for general all-round pig-headedness, quite eclipse and pale into insignificance the Democrats of all the other states. Their stubbornness, not to say cussedness, make these elements of resist- ance more striking in these adherents and champions of the Kansas City platform than they are in the canal-mule at the moment that this much- maligned quadruped stands in sphinx-like immutability under a solo of rail- dealt thuds at the hands of his navigator. The Democrats of Ohio refuse to be benefited by the severe lessons taught them not many handfuls of moons agone. They still stick to the principles of the rotten Kansas City platform, and persist in raising their hands and voices against any one that dares to denounce or renounce them. They are certainly long on stubborn- ness and short on brains; and their attempt to bring about a political resur- rection of Tom Johnson, the three-hundred-pound horse-cir beauty, must strike even that wobbling oleaginous worthy as being an act well calculated tu fill the land with rolling oceans of innocent merriment. ‘Tue ranuer—' So you're frum a place where the law says the laborer sha'n't work but nine hours a day, eh? No wonder you want a change, poor feller! Now, | allers let my men hey seventeen hours to do thelr work in, an' If they hain't finished it then, by gosh! I give ‘em tll breakfast-time next mornin’ to finish up. Beats al' how some folks do rush their help.” comicbooks.com